I am very much an all or nothing person. This is, as many things, a strength and a weakness. Praise God that in our weakness He is strong. So, if I can be used for Him to shine where I stink, so be it.
The Lord has been showing me that I am in great weakness in the area of "how". I've only proven that weakness recently when I let my passion for something get in the way of my wisdom of "how" to go about expressing my convictions. Fortunately the person I wronged was gracious to forgive and had their own experience of weakness that allowed an outpouring of grace from us both. We are all so prone to falling off the slippery slope of pride. I am someone to say what I think and some are prone to just think things that would be just as harsh as what I go ahead and say. I wish I had the other problem only but the fact is, God sees into us all. He is so good to not let our issues stay hidden. He brings them out into the light to humble us and show us his way.
What a blessing to be led in the way everlasting. What a privilage, and yet, what a discipline from the Lord. And as he so rightly says, no discipline is plesant at the time. Hebrews 12:11 Yet, oh, to be lead to the everlasting! Is it worth it? Yes, and it is the giving of our very life.
In the study of elders and deacons, I discovered something about men that I had not noticed before. In this study I found it very encouraging that there were two type of men. Authoritative leaders and Servant leaders. I had never seen that before. It says that they should be appointed according to their gifts. I had always seen this as "leaders" period. It was freeing because I realized that my husband has the gift of servant leading. He has an amazng servant's heart. In essence, he would fall under the deacon category if he were to take a role in the church.
It also goes on to say that the women are to help their husbands according to their gifts. God is very intimately aware of our gifts here, isn't that so cool?! He knows our ends and outs and wants us to come to Him as to how to use them for His glory. I realized that I have not focused on asking God this before. What gifts did you give me that are to help my husband lead this family.
This is where this is glorious. Instead of being frustrated that he can't come up with something creative to lead the children in according to their training in the word. I can realize that I AM creative and can prepare it for him. Instead of being frustrated that he does not notice things the kids are doing and therefore doesn't deal with it, I can use the gift I have of noticing and seek a way to respectfully make him aware so that he can lead them. I want to start praying about this and find out what God has been waiting to show me while I've been waisting time in the land of discontent.
Prayer to recognize gifts is perhaps the gateway to harmony in relationships. I'm finding this more and more true in all areas of life with people. After we figure out the lines God has drawn as to what he designed women to do, and men to do. There is great freedom of the unique person he has made each of us and the gifts we have that he is just waiting to use if we seek Him with a pure heart. This takes away the need for criticism, and manipulation. I have not sorted it all out yet in my head, but It's a start. When you encourage people for their gifts, as they fall under the obedience of God's word, you will stop comparing them to what you think they aught to be. I look forward to walking on in this journey.
And, it was this study of women in the church and home that brought these things to the surface in my life. It was not all fun. Some parts of what happened this last week were very hard, and very frustrating. We are all quick to be offended but not quick to see how WE may have offended. I look forward to God showing me "how" to do carry out things peaceably. I look forward to being more content with the man God made MY husband to be. I look forward to Him showing me how he made me, and me only, to be his perfect help. I look forward to getting back into that circle of blessing I keep telling my kids to hop back into.