And Now You Know the Rest of the Story

(this is part three of an on going story, scroll down to rewind and catch up if you need to)
I continued on as a Sophomore at Masters, and Rick continued at his new job as....yes, a mailman. He got the job the week we met I’m pretty sure. I guess the Lord knew it was time for him to be a family man. We dated in the most frugal of ways. This is one of those things we look back and kind of regret. Rick was saving up EVERYTHING for a backpack trip to Europe with his best childhood friend. So, I came in right when he did not want to use a penny unless he had to. We learned early how to do things cheap. Now he regrets he did not splurge a bit more on our dating because we have been scrimping ever since. We did a lot of Taco Bell dates, and I would make spaghetti at his apartment (remember he was one of four so there were plenty of people around).
One of our favorite dates was to go up on a place called "Nike Point". From this hill top way out in the country you can look down on the whole San Fernando Valley. At night it is really beautiful. We would sit there and have lots of good talks. Usually there was one or two more cars parked at the top.
One night on the way home driving the curvy roads in the dark, I found myself overwhelmed by the silence. We just had one of those moments when neither of us had anything to say and I was stunned by how okay we both were with that. There was not awkward silence! How can this be? I blurted out "I love you". Yes, it was me that said it first. Rick was quiet and pulled over to stop the car. I was not sure what that meant. As it turned out, he did not want to be distracted in this moment. I must have gone mush brain because all I remember is him turning toward me and putting his arm up on the back of my seat. I know he said he loved me too somewhere in there, but I'm sorry to say my heart was pounding so hard, I think all the blood was there and not in my brain. (my 19th birthday outing at our beloved coffee shop)
Time went on. It was my birthday, my 19th birthday. December 13th, 1995. Rick had planned an outing with us and some of my friends from college. Nothing big, just a quiet time out at our favorite couch coffee shop. When we got home we sat in the car in front of the dorm listening to STAR 98.6 ("the best of the 80's and 90's" ....but mostly 80's, much to Rick's delight). He told me happy birthday and leaned in to kiss me for the first time. I remember the song on the radio was "I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight". I'll keep the rest of that moment to myself:).
Then, it was May and school was ending. Rick was packing up for home in Washington. I think somewhere in here I met his parents and we went out to the famous "Pookies" for lunch (this is the picture up on the side bar for Feb. with all the cups:). The plan was that I was going home, and he was going home for a few days only to head off to Europe for four months. I was not excited to go home. Not only was I leaving all my friends, but I was leaving him for a LONG time. I remember hugging for a long while.
Well, I did go home and he called from Washington. I think it was on May 4th, but I'd have to look at the records, when something unexpected happened. We were on the phone and Rick just blurted out "Will you marry me when I get back?". I think I stammered, I know I did. A proposal over the phone!? Well, this was not exactly what I had imagined, but I have learned that life does this to you sometimes and you better just put your storybook down and seize the reality of goodness that you have. I told him he needed to call back that evening and talk to my dad. By then I think he was very flustered. He forgot that part. Not out of disrespect, but out of the fact that his proposal came purely unplanned out his mouth and there was not time to think. I'll never forget that night. I had to tell my mom the minute I got off the phone, but my dad was wondering why we both had these gidy faces when he came home from work. I remember pacing in my room for the phone to ring, and when it did, I'm sure I bounced in the air a little and started to sweat and get cold at the same time. He was in the living room which was right next to my bedroom. I tried not to listen. I heard a lot of conversation and then my dad came to my door with the sweetest sheepish face and said that Rick needed to talk to me. My heart must have been racing so fast. He asked officially, and I officially said yes.
It was a LONG four months. I racked up 500 dollars of phone bills throughout all of Europe. He had made me a schedule of where he would be when. I worked two jobs, one at a video store and one at a hardware store. I was bored out of my mind, and very lonely. I had no engagement ring. I had been wearing a purity ring for years. Rick and I had gone to Disneyland days before he had to leave and there he bought us both matching shell rings, so I wore it with that. I did have someone ask me out while he was gone and I had to say I was actually engaged, man I wanted that ring on! (Our visit to Victoria, BC for the day, when Rick came home from Europe)

I flew up to Washington days before he was to come in. I was there at the airport when he arrived. I was so happy to see him walk down through that plane exit. We had a wonderful time with his family and visiting Victoria, BC while we were there. That is when we decided we wanted to Honeymoon there. I was 19 and he took me to a Greek restaurant and ordered one glass of white wine. I was legal there. I was anxious to be a big girl. I choked on it and gagged. He drank the rest. :)
Rick moved down to my area of the world and lived with some friends of his parents who happened to be close by. He got a job with the local Post Office. When he came back from Europe he did not have a penny, so the goal was to save enough to have some kind of Honeymoon, and set up our apartment. Once again, we were pinching. (Us months before our wedding)
We were wed on April 5th, 1997. It was a beautiful day. We stayed the first night locally at the Madonna Inn. Rick had a friend who worked there and when we checked in we discovered that he had upped us to one of the grandest rooms. The next morning we drove to San Jose Airport. We were going through the scanner when a bag I had (a paper gift bag) that contained candles, our toasting goblets from the wedding and some other romantic mish mash, tipped over on the conveyer belt and spilled out all over the place. Someone came up to us and helped us start picking it up. I turned to see it was Rick’s dad. His parents were there! We did not realize they would be at the same airport at the same time. I was a wreck by the end of the day when we were finally in Victoria. We had missing luggage. The rest of the time was good.
Two weeks after we were wed, we found out we were pregnant. You should have seen the look on my dad's face. I think he turned white.
.......and now you know....the rest of the story.

My Journeyman
I set out years ago to journey-
To walk life’s road with you,
I couldn’t see where steps would lead,
Or what we would go through,
Yet certain as the sunshine bright,
Was the prospect of my delight,
To just set out with you.

And so the days began to turn,
And months gave way to years,
We welcomed many a right good laugh,
We endured such waves of tears.
Yet emotions ranging high or low,
We kept our ever steady flow,
And carried on as two.

You’ve been the kindness of the morning,
You’ve been the comfort of the night,
With all the world that’s ever turning,
I’ve kept you always in my sight.
And I look forward to the morrow,
Be it good or be it sorrow,
To pass this way with you.

To think that my Creator loved,
More than math could measure,
And gave on top of all the rest,
This one perfected pleasure.
This journey birthed inside his mind,
That brought us to each others find,
That I should walk with you.

The way reaches on to meet the sky,
Where my eyes fail to see,
But Christ leads ever on before us,
And “Oh, how he loves you and me!”
So my heart with thanks abounding,
Now eager, full and pounding,
Sets out to walk with you.

For my Valentine- Feb.14, 2008

Our Story Phase Two: First Date

(For part one of the story, you need to scroll down to previous post)
Well, as it turned out, we never went to Sadie Hawkins. We began talking a lot on the phone and just seemed to not be able to get enough of each others thoughts. Our relationship took such a quick escalation, that we went on our first date before the event that brought us together ever took place. Rick asked me to a dinner out at a Mexican restaurant. I really enjoyed his company. (Photo is Our Date at Ed Debevics)
It was a great evening except for my distraction from his very 80's shirt. It was a bright turquoise blue with black circles/dots filled with various florescent shades of color. Lilo would have loved it. :)
The night of Sadie Hawkins, Rick and I and another couple decided to do it better with a night down at Ed Debevics in Beverly Hills. The theme of the Sadie Hawkins was fifties so we just went with that, but better. It was a fun night but I remember wishing we had just gone somewhere as the two of us. The couple we were with were heavy on sarcastic humor and neither Rick nor I are prone to that. We sat in the back seat all the way back to Masters and with a quiet demeanor.
Our relationship became so intense from the beginning that I began to get a little panicked. The more I got to know Rick, the more I liked him A LOT. It was just one of those things that fit together so well that you think the bottom of the world is going to fall out any minute because it's too good to be true. Our first date was on Nov. 7th (that Mexican restaurant date) and by two weeks later, I asked that we take a back up hit the breaks. I thought we should try to be just friends. I was so unsure that this was really what it was gearing up to be.
Rick came home with me for Thanksgiving, as friends. My parents loved him. My dad especially loved him, and thought he was the best. That scared me even more and I tried hard to fight the gushy feelings I had when I looked at him across the table of food and heard him so easily converse with my family as if he had been there forever. I was still fighting it when we sat out on the swing that swung from the big oak on the hill behind our house (my favorite teenage get away in tough times and hormonal surges). As we sat there swinging and talking I looked over at him and just KNEW this was the man I was going to marry. I knew it was true because I didn't want to know but something was telling me anyway. I was still trying to emotionally fight it.
Rick and I had another amazing and heart wrenching connection, something I had never shared before with anyone, not even any of my girl friends. We both had disabled siblings. My brother Scott is Rick's age and has Cerebral Palsy. Rick's sister Heather (who has since gone to be with the Lord) was mentally retarded (I hate that word, I wish there was another. I grew up in a time when kids used it fluently and toward each other and it would make my little stomach sick to hear them. The word itself has its place but I even have a hard time using it in context). So one of the sweetest surprises to me was that my brother Scott LOVED Rick from the beginning, and Rick had such ease around him. It was like nothing I had ever seen. Scott still loves Rick, sometimes I think more than me, but that's okay.:)

We came back to school and I felt like I was the only one out of my kin who was unsure. That was different; I had never had that happen before. Well, I don't remember how long I held out, but I know it was a matter of days after returning. We frequented this coffee shop that we just loved because it had a loft with couches and games, and they played jazz or forties music. We were sitting on the couch talking when we just noticed how we were scrunching closer and closer. I think Rick said something to the effect of "have you noticed that" and I responded affirmative. He asked me if this meant anything and I said I thought it did and he said something to the effect that he was glad. It was official, we were dating, and friendship alone was forever in the past tense.

Yes, there will be more!!!!

The First Time Ever I Saw His Face

The first time I saw Rick's face, I was disinterested. Not because he was not cute, he was very cute. I was in a bad place in my head. Not only in general, but on that day in particular. I love that I was disinterested because I look back on it now and am tickled that God was working to bring me amazing love and I was not even paying attention.

My heart was still mending from great breakage. I had been a year at Taylor University in Fort Wayne, Indiana. There I had met someone who was an amazing Christian young man and I was sure that was who God had for me. The Lord did not have it in his plan and he used location separation to show me that. I thank him for it now. I was always feeling second place in this young man's life and as some of you know by now, I'm a person who get's intense about what's in my heart and I needed someone just as intense and loyal as I am. I would have been struggling over and over for attention. I'm thankful God knew me and wanted something else for me. Yet, at the time I was heart sick.
(Us in my college dorm lounge)
My parents could not afford to send me back to the Midwest school. The cost of travel on top of school was too much. So, I went to Masters with a scowl in my heart. I did not want to be there. I cried a lot. I made girl friends pretty fast but was not interested in the guys at all. Finally the Lord used some things in email correspondence with this other young man to prove once and for all to me that the relationship we had was not what I had thought it was. On his end, it was much more superficial. I kid you not, it was the very day that this email arrived or one of the emails trailed from it (conversing back and forth) that I first saw Rick.

A guy friend of mine was going to a play. "The Mousetrap" and I was invited. I was not very close to him but he and I had chatted about what I was going through and he thought this might be a good diversion. I am always up for a good play and so I said a slow "okay". Well, we were supposed to be getting a ride from some other college kids that he knew and I didn't. He said he had coordinated that they would pick us up in front of a dorm. We stood there and they never came. You can imagine my sarcastic attitude. I almost expected such a downer that day. Well, he thought that we might as well walk down to the gym and watch the girl’s volleyball game. Now, I am not much for watching sports but I didn't care what I did that day. So, I went along slowly and with slumped shoulders.

We sat down in the first row of bleachers. After a few minutes he turned around and spotted someone he knew way up at the top. "I'll be right back", he said, "I'm going to say hi to someone". "Okay" and I just sat there. My brain was swimming and I don't even remember the game except my occasional envy of some of the girl’s power and athletic abilities. He came back and sat down next to me and said something like "My friend was wondering who you were". "Who?" I said. "My friend up there, he asked me who I was with and if she was my girl friend. I told him no." I turned around to see a tan brown haired, blue eyed guy in the back. He was handsome but he looked older than me. I was 18 at the time. "How old is he?" I asked. "He's like 25 (he had just had his birthday days before, and I was due to be 19 in December)". "Hmp." I said, that seemed old to me. I didn't think another thought about it. I didn't want to.

A few days later, this very guy came right into my dorm lobby where I was doing homework. He was with a girl I knew downstairs in my dorm. They had just been out to dinner. I found out later on that this gal had liked Rick for a long time. She was very nice but they were out as friends. Well, she introduced me. I think I was sitting there working on my paperwork for application to the semester of study in Israel that I was supposed to do. Well, that was the spark that set off the rest of our lives. He had been himself for a semester and we just starting talking and talking and talking. The gal he was with eventually said goodnight and went downstairs and we just sat there forever. He loved to travel, I love to travel. He loved history, I love history. He loved anything English, or Italian, so do I. Our words just flowed back and forth like the ease of waves coming in and out of the ocean. At the time I just found him incredibly interesting and easy to talk to. That was just what I needed at the time.

Then came time for Sadie Hawkins. I did not want to go. I did not want to ask any guy to go. I had one friend who was really goofy and funny who I thought I might ask. He was like a big brother kind of person. I knew I would have some laughs, but something in me longed for some depth of conversation. I thought of Rick. I didn't even know how to contact him. His little sister went to Masters at the time. I knew who she was but we were not close. She was in a different dorm. My roommate did the work for me; she called Joan and got Rick’s number. I was raised that a lady does not call a guy so this whole thing went against what I was trained was right. I let her do it for me. I don't remember much of the details but he said he would love to.

Stay tuned for more of the story......... I have to start school. :) Don't you love the mystery?????