Thursday, October 9, 2008

Influence On Children Can Come From Anywhere God Allows


I admit, sometimes I want to stick my head in the sand and keep it there. On the issue of h*m*s*xuality, sticking my head in the sand is what I'm all about. I don't' like to talk about it, be exposed to it, admit that my world is full of it...nothing. I'm not saying I like that I'm in denial. I get greatly disturbed at the things the enemy makes vile that God made good. I feel great when things are as he created to be. So, I just don't like that it's so blatantly supported when it's just not supposed to be.
So, you can imagine my growing anxiety when God led us to the public schools. On my top three fears was the innocence broken when it came to marriage and family. I did not want to see my kids worlds forever interrupted by this knowledge. He convicted me (as our testimony linked below indicates) over and over (through the discipleship from Tami Rutledge as well) that these things were in his hand. Still, I figured that my 5th grader especially would only make it a day before she was exposed. I spoke with her before school about the birds and the bees and everything in between. The way God made it to be. I figured I'd take a few days break before explaining how sin had messed it up. Yet, I was led to not bring it up yet. What I had all ready given her was a lot to digest. Honestly, time passed and the weeks went by.
Well, God has a sense of humor so I guess I should too.
Yesterday was the day. I thought "well, there you go, we made it nearly a month and a half before it came up.
We were sitting at dinner and Princess mentioned that a girl in her class got a detention for being rude to the teacher. One of the kids thought the little girl had called her teacher "gay". I nearly choke on my food and immediately look up at my husband with wide eyes also to warn him not to inquire in front of the seven and five year old. He doesn't get it and says something inquisitive. Lilo chimes in "Gay? Doesn't gay mean happy? Why would she get in trouble for that?" I make even bigger eyes at my husband and start back peddling when Princess says "yes, and I know what else it means."
Gulp is all I remember.
I continue back peddling attempts "yes, gay does mean happy Lilo..... (to Princess) "I would like to talk to you after dinner but you are not to continue on this subject right now"
We bring up another topic real quick.
The part that was writhing in my head was that she all ready knew something I did not tell her yet. Great, I thought, they beat me to it after all. Bad, bad parent. Yeah, Public school, thank you very much.
My attitude first of all was not right. I am responsible to present these things to my children and not blame them on anything getting there before me. If it does, I have to remember that God is sovereign.
Rick comes into the kitchen to tell me that he remembers Princess telling him before that this certain homeschooler we know had told her about what gay was. I'm thinking "and you didn't think this was worth alerting me to, or addressing??!!!" Okay, deep breath Alicia, men don't always think these things are worth a big fuss like I always do.
I pulled her aside in my room later so we could talk. I was dreading it like you would not believe. I wished this day would never come. I really did.
Yes, it turns out the knowledge was given to her by this homeschool friend. The word gay came up in conversation and this child took the liberty to explain to Princess that gay was when a man was married to a man and lesbian was when a woman was married to a woman. (I'm thinking "married!" what?!!)
We proceeded to have more conversation and explaining. I told her that this child should have said at that point "you need to ask your mom and dad about that" and that was what I wanted her to do if she ever came across any child who asked her what "gay" was. I told her that it was my fault that she did not hear it from me first. I knew that with her going to school I needed to explain it. To this she chimes in:
"nobody ever talks about it at school though"
Well, wha-do-ya-know.
My big fear was something that came from a setting I assumed formerly was secure. Well, there is no such thing anymore. I have to remember that God orchestrates these things and He has reasons for his timing and place.
Honestly I just find in highly ironic.

3 comments:

Christina said...

That story is really funny! And I'm sorry if it was my child who "told". We have talked about it before. (We're pretty open around here.) I never thought to have my kids tell another kid to go and ask their mom and dad. That's a great point. I got in trouble with the whole Santa Clause thing too for the same reason.

Alicia said...

Christina,
oh, no,no..it was not your kid. Let's just get this out there.. I would not have even talked about it if I knew this family read my blog. They don't. Still, anything is possible I suppose.
You know, it can happen to anyone and kids can be taught to be careful and mess up. I'm full of grace about it.
I just thought it was so funny that that's where it came from first instead of ps. It is funny isn't it...it was like God was telling me once again, I was not orchestrating my kids life even when I thought I was. :)

Liza's Eyeview said...

Thanks for your visit to my blog Alicia. Yes, my kids go to Public School and I do as much as I can to support the teachers, as well "protect" my kids. Let me know how I can help with your endeavor - I limited time but will help whenever I can.