I've been hearing that a lot today. I find myself spacing. Spacing when I'm driving (thank the Lord for angels), spacing when I'm shopping (thank goodness for the list),and spacing while eating. The kids must think I'm pretty strange because I'm always having to be pulled back from far and away somewhere.
What have I been thinking about? Well, today mostly the Glory of God. No, I'm not trying to be spiritual. You know that hard wrestling match I went though with the Lord last week? I see now that He was preparing me for some great feasting at His table. He was wiping me clean of all else around me so that I was at His feet, empty and ready to listen. Little did I know I was there to do some major intaking.
I sat in the Walmart McD's and as we were all munching on a dollar double cheeseburger (do you know how yummy those are when you have been dieting? Wow. I ate real slow) and as my kids chattered I could not help but notice every face walking by. The different ethnic groups, the old and the young, the light and the dark. All in the image of God. How little I think I must know of Him! I was most captivated though by the fact that the very things of his mighty hands give no thought to Him. Perhaps this is because my head has been so constantly on seeking the Lord this week that I wondered for a moment what it would be like to lack that Joy. I don't know, I don't ever want to know, but God used it to give my heart burden. Piper says that we should ask the Lord to grow our burden for the lost. Just by recognizing who He is causes that to grow naturally. He is so great and being given the privilege of participation with Him as He achieves the goal of His glory is so fulfilling and satisfying that when I am filled with it I hurt for them. Oh, that they would taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, that they would drink deeply of the water of Life for their thirsty souls. Oh, that the light would shine of His glory in the darkness of their hearts.
Why is this amazing? Well, as a mom at home with three kids I kind of forget there is anyone beyond my neighbors. I just let myself absorb how many people are really out there, made by God, unknowing of Him. Notice it when you are on the freeway, just let yourself absorb that those cars are full of people. Most of them don't know the Lord. What are their lives like? What idols have they run to to fulfill themselves? Food? Sex? Money? Beauty? Fame? TV? Work? How has it left them empty?
I was convicted by a DVD sermon I watched while walking on the monster (I have been forgetting to update my miles and have lost track. I know I've met me 150 goal so I'll be starting over at zero soon). He stressed that the glory of God is the "good" part of the "good news" and that if people don't see it, they will not understand the whole purpose for all other components of the gospel and why Jesus came, died, rose, forgave etc. I have never realized this before. Yet it says in scripture (2 Cor4:3-7). It has caused me to ponder it all day today to the point that I cannot seem to stop. This glory of His, when revealed to us is the essence of our captivation in Him. I have certainly been captivated today.
Practically I would like to say that I was convicted by Tami's comment on my Part 2 post. She mentioned that these truths were good for my children (I'm paraphrasing). That hit me like a rock. I have been so caught up in my searching and it was so hard for me to think through these things, that I never once considered them things I could teach my children. Yet, I knew she was right! They need to know that these choices are theirs as well. Choices to trust God or focus on themselves. I began to pray that day that God would show me how I can shrink these truths down and apply them, and teach them in a nutshell to my kids. After all if truth is unable to be applied, what good is the truth to begin with?
I had a break through with Princess today. It was very related to what we have also learned from Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp. Yet, it was related to the issue of getting down to the motivations we have that seek self.
I was in the grocery store (don't all mommy adversity moments happen at the grocery?) and Superkid was in the large part of the cart sitting down (he stopped fitting in the kid seat ages ago). I put the first bag in the cart. He began to fumble through to see what was in there. Princess told him to not mess with the bag. Now, this has been an ongoing issue with she and I that she is not to "Mommy" them unless I'm asking for her help or I am not there.
Long story short she told me she was trying to help. Since her tone was not very nice when she told him, I was pretty sure her motivation was control. Yet, how would I get her to see the bottom line of where her heart was? I said an inside prayer for wisdom.
"Princess," I said. "You may very well be right. You may very well have been wanting to help. However, I would like you to know right now so we are clear, that when I am there, this is not a help to me or Superkid. Superkid does not need that help because I am here to deal with anything that comes up and to make the judgement as to whether he is in trouble or not. So, in the future you now know that that is not a help I'm needing from you. So, if you find yourself tempted to boss him, you need to consider that your sin nature is causing you to want to be in control. If that is your motivation, then you need to stop. When you boss your brother and sister out of a selfish spirit that longs to be controlling for the sake of your own feeling of power, you are in sin. If you want to help with a serving spirit, that is wonderful, but you now know this is not a help need that mommy has."
She seemed to totally understand the difference. I thought "Lord, if I could live in a shack and never have a frill in my life to speak of, yet my life was full of those clear and precise moments with my kids, I'll take that again and again."
I'm still praying how to apply these truths specifically.
I'm blown away with the flood of thoughts on God seeking His glory. You know the amazing realization is that He will have a passion to fulfill it and I am part of that fulfillment.
It makes the end of the story that I've always known to be a victory, all the more glorious. It makes Him SO BIG! It makes me so amazed to be on His mind. It makes me thankful. It brings me joy.