Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Unclenching My Spiritual Fists

Where will God lead you? Where will he send?
Will you be willing or will you defend-
The way that things are as you think they should be,
Will you be willing? Will you be free?
Should he stir you to move in a place on you own,
Or call you to stretch in a way you've not grown,
Is there something you've said you won't ever do,
If he asks, will you joyfully do that thing too?
What are you keeping? What do you hoard?
What is it you think you cannot afford?
To loose it, to give it- where do you stress?
What should you hand over, or maybe confess?
Have you looked out at water you say you can't walk?
Are you willing to take back and swallow your talk?
That stated "I'll never", "I couldn't"- "not me",
Will you do it for Him who can make you free?
Free just to trust and gladly be led-
Free just to be in His hand and be fed-
Free to delight in HIS perfect plan-
Free to shrink smaller the opinion of man-
Free to stretch out and see where it leads,-
Free to adventure and plant many seeds-
Free to find out what faith can procure,
When you thought you're plans were ever so sure.

Written just now. Why?
Because I came home from picking up the kids from school with an amazing swelling in my heart. Something so huge was revealed to me as to one of the many, many reasons I was called into the public schools. I cannot tell you the details. Just praise God for me and pray for more grace to give out and wisdom in the future. I think of Louie Giglio's words in his DVD "Indescribable" "He does not think like us, He does not have a brain like ours. He is working on a canvas bigger than we can ever think or imagine!" I saw the hand of God today and it told me "for such a time as this, you are here". I have had other great confirmations in the past few months. This was a big one. I was honored to be there for my Jesus at the moment I was. I am blessed. I want to bless more. I want to give like I have nothing to loose. I want to live like I'm not afraid. Those are some restated lines in one of the Chris Tomlin's song "The way I was made" I think it's called.
I was so scared to take this adventure. Now I wonder what He has next for me. The poem is written to myself. I want to let go of my small thinking and let Him fill it with His great plan. I want to learn to stop saying "I will never do...." or anything like it.
I think instead I should ask more and more "What cha got for me today God!? I'm willing."
Other conclusion from today:
People are God's treasure. He is intent on their journey. He is moving and working. Sometimes there is pain. There is also great joy in it when His hand is there too. He longs to bring those he can to the aid of those in need. People are his eternal mission. They should be mine too. Always.


Christina said...

As always, beautiful poetry, Alicia.

I am Katy, said...

You are a very gifted writer, Alicia. Thanks for sharing the stirrings of your heart; they were very touching. I'm praying that God continues to use you for great things in the unique position He has placed you in for this season of motherhood.

Joy in the Burbs... said...

What a poem! You definitely shared your heart in such a powerful way. I know Public Schools are a challenge. In elementary school we were very blessed. Great teachers and usually in our case Christian teachers, but now that my daughter is in Jr. hi. It's a whole new ball game. I'm struggling with taking her out and putting her in Christian school. She has always gone to P.S. I'm hoping we'll work thru this rough time. Its not the teachers. It's the other students. Over 2000 7th/8th graders. Huge mix of kids from all walks of life.
I was wondering if you attend a Moms In Touch group for your kids schools. Praying with my MITI group helps get me thru each year.
Thank you for sharing this poem you wrote. It really spoke to me.

tricia said...

another great poem. I am excited to see what God has planned for you next.