How To Stay Married

I read these in the latest Readers Digest and thought they were great:

The secret to marriage is the same as the secret to living in California...

When you find a fault , don't DWELL on it!

Marriage is all about falling in love over and over and over again......

with the same person.

(no quotes because I'm paraphraising and too tired to look up who said it)

I thought those were great and the last one thrills me. It's so true.

I've recently fallen in love again myself.

Take a Little Scripture, Put It In Your Pocket...Save It For a Rainy Day

There is certainly nothing wrong with that. The right verse at the right time has been a great encouragement to many. But I've been pondering the problem with a pattern of feeding on the word this way. It's like spiritually starving yourself on a few peanuts you carry around in your pocket. After a while your malnourishment catches up with you.

I also apply this analogy to when scripture is "carried" around and quoted for use by the person needing that one biblical quote that makes valid their point in conversation. It can just be thrown out there as emphasis but rarely is it studied for context or meaning. Many times I have been swayed into an idea by someone I respected doing this to me. I did not know the word enough myself to discern their proper usage of it.

As I'm in this new and different mode in my life right now that I spoke of before, I feel the need to purge my impressions and influences down to (1) what God's word itself says and (2) who God wants me as the individual he made, to be. Therefore I'm growing weary and shockingly considering ridding myself of books related to conduct rather than concept study.

For instance, I have long been a fan of Elizabeth George books ("A Woman after God's own Heart" books). Many of the things she has to say are good but they are all on the definitions of conduct for a godly woman. I use to go more to these to find out what I was supposed to be. They have some great example to offer but they really are just another version of looking to others to see what defines a godly woman instead of intimately seeking the Lord through study of His word, for Him to show me the conduct of THIS godly woman (or aspiring one anyway:). I remember one example in particular where Elizabeth George mentions that a woman ought to keep the house so well, and wipe the surfaces of everything before heading out the door each time in order for herself and her family to always come home to a clean house. It sounded great and godly at the time, but really? Is that really what defines godliness? Or is it just the expressed preference of one christian lady writer and a reflection of her own personality. Is the woman who is not so tidy not as godly of a woman and not a "woman after God's own heart?". Hmmm.

Please don't think I'm nitpicking...there are many good things to be gleaned out there in the world of Christian women's books. I'm just feeling the need to get right to the source more. I have found that my understanding is not as great when a women's book tells me "now turn to this scripture here, and that one there" after trying to back up a concept on womanly conduct that she has presented. THIS IS NOT BAD, and I'm not saying it is. I'm looking for better. I'm looking for 100% pure, with no flavors added.

So, I have greatly enjoyed the inductive study method through the tools of Kay Arthur's Precept Study Guides. (You can find out more about this at the Precept Ministries Site) These along and many times buddied up with the wonderful teaching of our Pastor, who goes through large sections, usually books, of scripture at a time, have changed my understanding and comprehension of scripture so much more. For instance my Pastor is in the book of Acts right now so I am using the Precept Study Guide for Acts. God is always faithful to fine tune my understanding of the conduct of my life every time I go straight to his word. It's just starting to feel like getting to the point instead of beating around the bush and having to filter out how one person prefers to do certain things and label them "godly" or "ungodly".

What I do appreciate in Christian writing more and more are books that are conceptual. Those concepts or topics on understanding aspects of scripture or God himself. John Piper, Jerry Bridges, Randy Alcorn, and John MacArthur are just some of the tip top favorite examples. These men have been pouring themselves over God's word in the inductive study methods for sure, for many years. God has opened their hearts with passions for different topics and enlightened their understanding and desire to share. Those are the books I feel I'm not wasting my time on.

So the bottom line is that as I'm asking myself "Lord, who do you want me to be?" it is only one of many questions my heart asks. The others are "Lord, who are you?" or "Lord what does it mean to suffer in life when we know you? or "Lord, what exactly is your plan for humanity?"...and many others. The first question I'm finding is better answered going right to God's word and letting him intimately show me. Who he wants me to be cannot be found in the hundreds of women's books on what a woman should be. Yes, I could read them all and I could probably put together a picture that's true but that would be after I spent hours sifting out what was NOT me and what was or what was scripture and what was preference or personality. Scripture is living and breathing and equip for all teaching and conduct. Why not go right to the source?

Scripture is more than a verse in my pocket when I need it or more than a tool for one person to validate their way of doing things. It is an intimate understanding and connection to God who desires to show us personally where and how and why we should walk. To do that I need to learn in a conceptional and inductive way. Once I've done that, then I can carry that verse in my pocket knowing from whence it came and what it means in context to the whole. It's the bigger picture that will gain my understanding, convict my heart, and light the path for my next step ahead.

It's quite a relief that God all ready knows who I'm supposed to be in him and just waiting for me to come to Him so that he may show me. I don't have to try on a bunch of other personalities for size only to find them uncomfortable and stifling.

I Call It Magical Motivation

Even a homebody needs to move, and it has been my goal this year to learn to run. I have never liked running....ever. I would tell anyone I know that I hate running and I do...or should I say did.
I found something out about myself. I was not running right and not using the proper motivation. I would walk fast during a show I like and then run the commercials. I could barely get through the five minutes of running. I was dying for that darn commercial to be over! Then, last week I found I did much better with the right music and starting low at about 4.2 mph. Before I would jack it up to 4.8 and it was not a pace I could keep long.
I've been doing this new method for a week and stretching myself to run up to a 4.5 or more for ten and even 15 minutes without slowing down. It's quite easy and feels really good actually. I'm able to run at least half of the hour work out and that would translate into 2 miles worth of running and 2 of walking. My goal is to run the whole hour in a few months.

Right now it looks like this

Warm up 10 min

Jog 10 min at about 4.2

Walk 5 min at about 3.8

Jog 15 min at 4.3-4.5 or more

Walk 5 min at 3.8

Jog 10 min at 4.2 or more

Walk 5 min to cool down

Music is magic to me and unfortunately there is not a lot of great running christian music out there, though Toby Mac is pretty close but my kids listen to it so much I'm needing a fresh set of songs.
Here is my new playlist geared up for a good bit of jogging. If you want to use it, it's here. Like I said, it's not meant to be spiritually inspiring. I have to test it out this afternoon to make sure it's long enough for a 1 hour workout.

playlist!" src="http://www.profileplaylist.net/mc/images/create_blue.jpg" border=0> Ringtones" src="http://www.profileplaylist.net/mc/images/get_blue.jpg" border=0>

I'm Getting Older and Coming Into Myself Unashamedly

I have felt strange the last few days. It's probably got a lot to do with coming down off the high of the weekend. Now, today it's raining and there is something about the rain that opens a spring of ongoing thoughts in my head. So lookout....here it goes.

I've just about given up on blogging. I've asked myself why. Myself answered pretty quick. I'm tired of many aspects of it. I'm at that point in my life when I really long for deep relationships with people who really know me and STILL want to be my close friend. I feel more bonded to my husband than ever and find him the closest friend I have. As the years have gone by there is far less pretense in our relationship and I truly can be myself and speak my mind. I've often wished I could run a blog that way. It's not as easy as that. Many people are really good at just posting how they are doing or what's going on. I like that too but my huge compulsion is to speak my mind and be who I am which is far more dangerous. Sometimes people don't want to know who you really are. They may not like the things you say, or the way you say them. They may not think what you talk about on the blog is appropriate for discussion and they certainly come from their own life perspectives which will in turn, interpret what you say in a way you never saw coming. Is is possible to find unconditional love in the blog world? No, I don't think so. True friends are the ones you can hug now and then and sit down to tea with. Still, meeting new people is so fun and I've enjoyed bogging for that. The fact is though, they don't really know me and I think I need to stop expecting blogging to be that social connection in my life. It's a world where everyone is putting their best foot forward. It's really truly an outlet and not an inlet. The whole true art of it is to do what I've held back or tried to work around...being yourself.

I'm coming into myself in a way I never have before. I'm wanting to more true to those I love, to God, and to myself. There is no room in trying to compare yourself or pattern yourself after others in that, or even to keep up the show of being your own best foot all the time. I've tweaked and twisted my blog to protect myself from some effect of what others think or may do with what I've shared. I have not been the same since I've locked this blog down. I felt like I had been locked down. Trying to run two blogs, one that I can talk on and one that I have to filter is driving me nuts. I came here to be myself unashamedly and not to be what was acceptable to some. I came to share my life, as many do, but also my thoughts on life which are my own.

I guess what I'm saying is that I want it on my terms or I don't want to do it anymore. Blogging is a different art in that sense because it's much more vulnerable than any painting or song. Those arts can be critiqued for their singularity, but a blog puts all of you out there for others to do as they please with. Really, it's not a very smart thing to do. Some of us are compelled to write to the point of it being a need. That would be me.

So, this is really going to bug all of you who have to change it back on your side bar, but I'm opening the blog up again and really don't care what comes of it. I'm tired of letting others orchestrate it and what I chose to or not to talk about my life. What happened was definitely done to me and my sharing my heart on what the Lord has done in my life is not something I'm sorry I did. I'm sorry that some decided to meddle and disturb my mother with it though. I'm not going to let myself be punished for their bad decision to meddle.

I'm also in a strange place spiritually right now. Everything is great in my life but I kind of feel like I've been spiritually coasting for a long time. Like you just came down from the grade and your speed seems it's going to keep you sailing for a while but you actually find yourself slowing down sooner than you think. Even having a passion for Eternity in my heart can make this life a little weird. I guess with the political and spiritual climate I've kinda felt like "let's just get it over with shall we" or "just hang on till it's over Alicia". My apathy aggravates me. It's not a feeling of hopelessness or depression at all, it's more like a lack of fire to produce anything substantial. I guess I've been feeling spiritually blah. No mountain tops in sight right now. I feel like I should not complain, everything is good in life. I just feel the need for a Spiritual espresso...grande or tall please. Wake me up to something Lord! Move me. It's obviously time to get into the word. Yet, at the same time I don't like my life being full of emotional spiritual ups and downs, so that's not what I'm asking for. I'm like a soldier begging for a mission. Aware that the small work everyday is important...I desire a challenge and feel way too pensive.

There has to be a song for this.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm all about being real more and more in my life. Not about impressing anyone. Not about censoring myself but about becoming someone authentic. The hard thing about that is that not all of life and reality is sweet and pretty. Not even for the believer. To get to the mountain we have to go through the valleys, big or small. Even that is a huge spiritual analogy and my goal is for even more of the mundane everyday authenticity. I'm starting to get down to the bottom of my thoughts, scratching the end of the supply of genius and wondering "Where the heck was I going with this?" There has to be more to sort out, I just can't seem to get to it. Perhaps the clouds today are seeping into my brain.

Practically ....The Happy Homebody is going back to a cooking and household ideas blog. I'm taking the lock down off this blog. I'm going to be who I am from my spot on the planet and not let the world frustrate me for being so. I'm going to seek authentic relationships with people who are comfortable in their own skin and are shooting for eternity with me. Imperfect as we are....marching on ...coming into ourselves and what's really going on in our heads as we learn how to navigate this temporal pilgrimage. Anyone with me? It's okay if you really don't even know what the heck I'm talking about cause I hardly know myself. I came here try to sort that out. The blog world is just feeling a little stuffy to me and I think it's time to open some windows people and let some fresh air in. Spring clean your brain and find an original thought in there somewhere. Take a deep breath and feel that you're alive with passions and ideals and not anxious to just be marching in a matchbox of humanity all saying "yes" and "is that so?" while in your head your 20 miles away trying not to show it.

"Come On Baby, Let's Get Away"

I love exercising to that Janet Song on my Project Playlist , and I truly had a great Escapade weekend!

Today marks 12 years since my sweet fella and I said it would be "forever", and I'm so much more in love with him today than any year or moment before hand. Time makes love better like a good wine. Many people miss out on that because they tire of it before it mellows and sweetens. God knew what he was doing when he said "stick it out, people!".

We headed out on Friday and dropped the kids off with my mom. I was nervous how they would be for her. Even when Dad was alive, they did not take them EVER for two nights. In fact, this was our first two nights away in 12 years. They did great, and I'm relieved.

We stayed in Cambria which is our favorite get away. It was a lovely suite at Cambria Pines Lodge with two fire places and a jacuzzi tub...yeee haw! The GREAT deal he got included dinner with a bottle of wine (Yes, I ordered Fillet Mignon and he a New York steak, baby!) and two hot all-you-can-eat breakfasts. Such a deal and lovely place.

We headed out Saturday for a tour of Hearst Castle since we kind of started that tradition on our 10 year anniversary. We did tour #2 which he had never done and I did when I was about 11 (The main library)

years old. It is the one you get to see his room , the libraries, Julia Morgan's room, and my favorite (drum roll please!) ...the KITCHEN! OH, Yeah! That is my dream kitchen and YES, I (does that counter not scream for you to make SOMETHING!!!!)

DO remember seeing it when I was little. I have loved kitchens subconsciously I think. Oh, my goodness, the vintage beauty of an old kitchen! Old machines, huge stainless steel counter top (ovens and rotissary with the mixer and meat grinder in the background for all that fresh beef right off the ranch hills)

that was about 20 feet by 5 feet in size (are you not drooling by now?). The old wooden cabinet looking iceboxes with old metal seal hinges....oh, my. All the food was for (this is just the pantry..can you imagine the culinary potential?!!!)

the most part, grown on the ranch at Hearst, so we are talking fresh herbs, fresh fruit

and veggies and Jersey cows giving milk to make cheese and butter. Can food making get any better than that? I ask you.

Rick liked his smaller library with it's Greek collection of goblets and vases. It was cozy and inviting. The main library was much more formal but beautiful and well lit with natural light.

Julia Morgan's room was built to her scale (she was very short and designed the room herself) and if you have ever seen it, it's very unique with a tiny staircase winding up to her loft bed area.

Of course it was a gorgeous California day, and the view was spectacular.

We went from there down into the heart of Cambria and walked through some antique stores. Now, most men don't enjoy this venture, but not my man. He loves it. It helps to marry a man who loves history and it's collectibles. I look at the Pyrex, he looks at the coins, books and comics. We had a blast. I found an old Crazy Daisy Juice Carafe that is very hard to find, and he found a comic book and an old Bambi record he says is an exact replica of one he had as a child. It includes a lovely large story book.

From here, we traveled down to Trader Joe's and picked out our lunch/dinner picnic needs/wants. Wine, dill Havarti, German cheese, salami and other Italian meats, a bit of smoked salmon, grapes, bread, and some veggies and a Greek Yogurt w/ cilantro and chives dip. Ahhh.. We headed up to a wonderful new sand dune at Montana De Oro that we picnicked just days before with the kids. From it, you can see all of the coast including all of the Morro Bay area. It was my favorite time of all. We watched the sun go down and the dolphins come in to shore to feed. Breathtaking and unforgettable. We sat up so high that we were warm and windless pretty much until the sun went down and the temps dropped so quickly. I wanted to stay and star gaze, but Rick had a good point that we would be hiking back in the dark since we did not have a flashlight. It was quite a hike back to the car too. So, we stayed until Canis Majoris came out and Betelgeuse in the upper right shoulder of Orion followed by the final star in this perfect triangle which I can't recall the name of.

The next day we took our time and had breakfast and one more run through the antique stores before heading back to get the kids. Rick gave me a beautiful gift of a turquoise necklace and ear rings for our anniversary. It is my birthstone but more than that, he loves me wearing it because of my Indian heritage and complexion. It was beautiful. He did a great job. As if I was not spoiled enough, he let me pick out a Turquoise ring at the antique store to go with it. I think he really likes it on me. I did find one, and love it.

It was one of the best weekends of my life and I wished it did not have to end. Still, we do love our children and it was good to bring them home.

Twelve years goes very fast and I feel as if the next will too. I love him more than ever and in a more deeply and fascinatingly complicated way. It is both fully accepting of that which bugs me, and that which I love and produces the most real and yet piercing passion for a man that will ever consume me.

Yes, I will let him read this. It's good he knows. :)

Poets may write, singers may croon,

Wise men may ponder beneath the moon-

Many may feel in similar way,

Or say better now, what I have to say.

But here is a beating that never will end,

A heart for my endless lover and friend.

From me, happy 12th!
Give me more where they came from.

Love you.