Friday, March 27, 2009

When "How DOES She Do That?" Bogs You Down

I've been hanging out at the school a lot today. Princess has a noon Easter picnic I'm here for and I decided to give myself a "day off" of sorts and enjoy the Internet in the computer lab for a while. I REALLY look forward to getting my computer back. I was just reading Money Saving Mom and thinking "ahhhh, I really need this resource!"
While there I found a great new blog I want to check out more when I DO get my computer again. It's called The Prudent Homemaker. I like that she tries to live off of what she has more and that her recipes are categorized as well by seasons of the year. I hope to do that more in the future.

However, skipping over to her blog just sent me off an emotional cliff of sorts from building thoughts the last few days.

I've been tired since coming back from the science camp with Princess. It was so fun but I was only away from the cabin of six girls for 45 minutes each day and the second day my 45 minutes were spent coloring the props for their little skit they all get to put on while there. So, I was quite tired.

I arrive home wanting so badly to pick up my projects for spring but having NO energy and somewhat of a head cold. I start feeling this mounting pressure in my mind of all the really great things I want to do. Here are some of mine:

Finish staining the fence

Hoe up the garden

Expand the garden by digging up more ground

Sand the play structure and stain it too

Sand the deck and stain it (replace the two bad boards)

Have the girls plant their personal gardens in the half barrels

Build the steps off the back of the deck

Move the stepping stones to where they now need to be

Put boarders on the grass

Dig up the yard the dog destroyed and re-seed it

Level out under the play structure and prepare it for pebbles or sand

Oh, I won't go on and bore you!

Those are just my outdoor things.

Before I left I spent a week doing outdoor things. The result? My yard looked better, my house looked worse. I was bad about dinner making and exhausted by eight.

Lately I have been feeling the days are shorter and shorter and shorter. How DO some people do so much and categorically document their doings as well? How DO some women cook from scratch, nurse a baby, plant a garden, school their children, sew their clothes and whatever else superhero mom stuff they decide to do? I love gleaning from their ideas but really, HOW?

The Lord speaks to my heart by this time and that is really what I wanted to share. I recall this little song I learned as a kid and I don't know what it is or where it's from but this is the part he brings to mind:

"we all have different talents,

we all have different gifts,

we all were fashioned out to fill

a special little niche" (at least that's how I remember it:)

I remember that the only solution to life is to let the Lord lead you from one thing to the other. It all comes back to simplicity. Asking what He wants of me today. There are so many great things I want to do, learn, accomplish, experience and so on, but there are very few things he has in the day for me to do. That is the reality of it.

I truly believe that this feeling is part of the curse of our stunted lifetimes. I believe we were given a drive born out of the creator himself to do, create, accomplish and experience an eternity of things. All of these involve his creation, ourselves and each other. We are SUPPOSED to want to do so much. Yet, the reality of it is that here on earth, we just won't be able to. Again, I look forward to that in eternity. This is why reaing Randy Alcorn's book changed my life. Somehow I grew up in a Christian home not really understanding what eternity and heaven would really be. When we remember that, we can let so much go and be more focused on God's mission for our alien journey here. I have long since wanted to put a cute sign on my home that says "This is a tent, it's not my home". We are only passing through and with limited resources of many kinds. Our brains cannot learn enough, our money cannot buy enough, our time cannot produce enough. The greatest gift is learning to be okay with that I think. The greatest joy is finding what God has in the midst of it that IS for us, each and every one. Because when it's something GOD has for us here on this earth, we WILL have the knowledge (from Him), we WILL have the strength (from Him), we will have the funds (from Him), and we will have all that we need according to HIS riches and HIS glory.

So, if you are feeling like I have been the last few days and you just feel like you don't have enough or do enough, remember with me to ask for your portion and know that's it's enough because it's from Him who gives fully and who holds more for you down the road.


Joan said...

Thanks, Alicia! I needed that! Much love to all of you.

Joy said...

I've felt all these things too. I wonder when some of these bloggers sleep. haha.
How they get projects complete and cook and clean and blog too.
I try and multi-task, but it's usually throw a load of laundry in and go back to the computer. ;)