Reality Blogging Day 2

This will be in bullet point form to save me time and feed my desire for random journaling!:)

• I admit it, I was dreading today because of all the housework from being sick three days. I tried to sleep in but when no one else does it's like a session of torture dozing.


• Coffee...blogging....ah, this is better and I am awake after all. Kids are watching cartoons and enjoying that one box of junk cereal they get a paycheck.


• My head is still clogged as can be and it's been five days now.


• I'm feeling like Jerry Lewis in "the Stooge" when Dean Martin tries to wake him up and he is having a hard time getting going. "here we go....here we go...here we go..." but it's so hard to get going.


• My kids seem to be endless pits on Saturday's for food. I think it's because they are home and taking it easy so they think more about food. They keep coming in and asking what they can eat. How will I ever make it through teen years on this budget? I actually bought my first flat of Ramen noodles which I don't believe in just to fill the cracks on days there is no good thing to give them.


• I get up and go into the kitchen. While feeling better yesterday I managed to grocery shop and make dinner. I did not manage to put away all the groceries and do all the dishes so there was hardly a void anywhere to set my cup of coffee down.


• I was randomly thinking about manners. I've never understood why we follow something as proper when it came from the mind of one human. Who gets to decide what it culturally appropriate or not? After all, they are different in different places. Yet, so many people become nearly religious about manners. I've somewhat failed my girls in pushing manners too much besides the obvious ones I would send rumors about town with. Really, who decides them? I decided I'm rather rebellious.


• Pondered the blog a lot again and was annoyed how much it was bothering me. Told myself to not over think like I do everything else. Wondered what was going on in the heads of others. I do that too much.


• Turned on Johnny Cash and dug into the kitchen. I feel some weird kindred to Johnny Cash. His struggle between conviction and humanity are something I feel in my own skin. Pondered that for a good log while while slicing that 4lb of lunch meat with the slicer I did get to borrow from the neighbor. I was scared to use the thing. I have a fear of blades and getting digits cut off. I think I was rather loudly announcing to my children to not come within three feet of me while I was using the thing. All of a sudden I remembered Johnny Cash's brother got fatally injured using a saw. Suddenly I wondered if I was listening to the wrong music for the job. Swallowed.


• Had the kids do some help with their rooms and the living room. Princess never fails to be so deadly hungry when it's time to work.


• Switched around some mattresses to prepare for the foster child bed to be put up in Superkids room. Gathered up all the things the girls needed to sort though in bags and baskets. Vacuumed their room while they played.


• Watched the lead up stuff to the Kentucky derby (I was born in Louisville) and remembered my girlhood love of horses....wow, they are so beautiful. Did housework in between. The kitchen was still a work in progress.


• Called my mom to check on her and was on the phone at least an hour. I was saddened by how much she has been put through lately. I ask God to give her relief. It's been such a hard two years. I wonder how she can take all the circumstances. I start to ponder how much I feel her age creeping up on her. I feel the weight of sorrow and burdens on her. I long for happier days for her.


• Ponder whether over thinking and intense analyzing of life is a side effect of grief. I don't remember thinking so hard about things or feeling so bold about what I think or feel before Dad died. I try to remember what it was like to not be so intense. Was it an innocence that is gone forever now? An ignorance is bliss kind of thing? I ask myself if I'm just now starting to grieve in my own way. Like some hyper sense is kicking in and it's driving me nuts.


• Consider how the internet brings people so close to each other. Facebook, blogs, twitter. Is it really a good thing we are all so connected? My mother use to say that too many women in one house is a bad thing. The trend of women blogging is so hype right now and I start to wonder if we've all put ourselves in a virtual dwelling. I start to wonder if I want to be just another shouting voice in a crowd or a calm and reflective poet in the corner of the room. I'm leaning toward the latter.


• Superkid and Lilo go out to play and come in soaking wet. What was that all about? Go to the bathroom and strip please and thank you for the puddles in the house. Don't run the faucet outside as long as you please thank you. Do you know daddy pays money for that water?


• Daddy... I miss Rick a lot today. Can I just have a bunch of girlfriends as loving and easy to get along with as my husband? I love this man. What will I ever do if I loose him. I think of my mother again. How did that happen? Could I handle that? Where would I ever find such a kindred spirit again. I hope he gets home soon.


• He calls and says he's done and I tell him I need garbanzo beans and french bread. Oh and I've been craving a beer. Oh, sounds great he says. Nothing heavy I warn, I do have to go to TOPS on Monday and beer is usually on my no, no list.


• When thinking of something fast and easy for dinner since I still had half a kitchen to work on and was on my second load in the dishwasher, I remembered something. Years ago, my friend Donna and her husband invited Rick and I over for dinner. They had two young kids and we had none at that time. We got there and the dinner was iceberg bag salad w/ garbanzo and kidney beans served with a French Bread loaf w/ butter. For dessert we had gram crackers with icing spread on top. This made a big impression on me. My mother hardly ever had people over but if we did it was a big dinner. I was surprised that this salad was all we were having. I knew they were on a tight budget though and was more and more deeply amazed at their generosity to have us over even though things were tight and they did not have a meatloaf or roast to share. It made a permanent impression on me. I've always tried to remember that. I knew they wanted to be with us because we were friends and that was what made the occasion. So, I repeat that dinner now and then because it is a good memory for me. So, we are having gram crackers and icing for dessert. It's a good reason to use up the two half full containers of icing sitting around. I remind myself of my TOPS again and will be having one little piece.


• The girls go in their room after dinner and rock out to their loud Christian girlie music. The modular shakes. Their neighbor friend comes to see if they can play and they go outside to play basketball together. The evening is balmy and clear. The green leaves in the nectarine tree are vibrant and the birds sing the sunset into play.


• Oh, and there was a stray dog in the neighborhood today that the kids played with and begged to keep. I told them he would find his way home and they were sure he would not. I told them to go in and wash their hands with soap and water and not even talk about doggies to me again. I considered taking them up to the chew spot on the house left by Ebony. They would only say that this dog would never do that, he was too sweet.


• Rick and Superkid take a shower and their silly boyish banter rings through the house. A deep voice and a little boyish voice chatting back and forth. I feel so blessed to have a son.


• Emma put on shades at dinner (not sure where they came from) and made cool faces. They all got laughing and Rick had to bring them all back to focus again and again.


• I wonder if I'll ever get everything done, look at the clock which by now says nearly eight and realize the answer is no.


• I realize that this day is coming to an end. No matter what over thinking I've done, what was accomplished or left for later, what the kids gleaned from me or picked up from me, whether things are perfect or hard, whether we have a day of struggling or gliding by, God is purposeful and He is truth. Though I may be distracted by the tossing waves of humanity and it's drama, he is a rock..steady and firm, dependable and sure. All else seems to swirl around in unpredictable chaos but in the middle is the certainty of His wisdom. It is still and I long to be still and rest in it.

If you read in google reader you can comment here.

A Bit Of Reality Blogging

I decided today to do something different with the blog for a bit and see what happens. I've wondered lately what direction to take my blogging in. I've wondered if anyone comes by much anymore. The only reason that makes me curious is because it takes time to blog and I honestly do love discussion, sharing and comment conversation. I like to know that I'm not just spewing out into space. Some people don't mind that, I enjoy feedback and banter. There does not seem to be much of it here. I've had a hard time with that. I've asked myself what makes those blogs that have zillions of people reading and responding? What is so interesting about them? And yet, I want to be myself and why does it bother me so much that this blog is not that. I feel like some kid in grade school not in the in crowd. Then I laugh out loud in my own head...because I never was! Welcome home Alicia. Welcome home.

The only reason I long for it is because I do so love to write. I love to think, I love to be real. I love to get things out, hash them over and chat about them. I so enjoy may other blogs but I'm more of the writer than the reader. I've been sorting a lot in my head about the blog and still have not made some final decisions. Some days I want to drop it, another I just want to dive into a new topic of thoughts and hear some of the readers as well. I wonder if my brain is just by itself way out in left field or if I just don't say it quite right so that anyone knows what in the world I'm talking about here. Or, I just have very quiet and blog shy readers. Who knows what the answer is. Oh, and thanks Trish for always coming and ALWAYS chatting with me! I love coming here to hear what anybody chats about and appreciate those of you who back talk me:). I understand that I'm an unpredictable blogger and send some people spinning with all the changes. I'm not a good candidate for consistency at all.LOL

So, for the next few days I'm going to just Reality Blog as I call it. That way, whatever happens I've kept a journal of my life.
Day One...Today.

Today began hard. Princess got hurt and bit her tongue literally (though I would have preferred figuratively) during the school prep time. In her anger she loudly told Lilo not to come in the room and bug her (also Lilo's room). The problem was that I had told Lilo to go get something she needed for school and when she came back out without it I asked her why she did not have it. "She told me I could not come in!" "What?" I asked. Lilo proceeded to tell me what had happened. I was frustrated with Princess and had to tell her, this was not just her room so she had no right to tell Lilo not to come in. Of course this happened way too close to the time to leave. We were in the car frustrated and Princess got grounded from playing with friends this evening because of her snipping at her sister. Then Lilo begins to cry because that meant they could not play basketball like she had wanted. It was a horrible ride to school. On top of their issues I could hardly talk from a still sick throat, my head was a sea of slush still, it was my heavy cramp day, and all the meds I'd taken being in bed sick yesterday had given me a UTI peeking right during the great hour of "get ready for school". I had ran to the cabinet to shove down some dried cranberries and a glass of water during the drama and rushed to my bathroom to down three Advil for my cramps. Of course, it did not kick in at all till after I had dropped them off. And we all know, there is no corner in the known universe reserved for the mom who feels like crap. Nope.
I went home and tried to gather my foggy clogged up brain for grocery shopping. This last pay check took us down to the bottom so I knew I had to be smart on this one and gather all I could for what the budget allowed. As I sat and tried to sort it out I just kept being bothered by the morning and the way it had gone. I hated dropping them off on days like this. I decided it was my decision today where my child was. I felt a burden that Princess needed some time with just me. Not to reward her, but to make sure her love tank was full as I've been in bed sick for two days and she has had no mommy really at all this week. I gathered up my lists and adds, purse and phone and headed out the door.
I went in and told them I needed to sign her out for the rest of the day. They gave me no trouble and called her out of class. She did not seem surprised to see me. I asked her why and she said she thought it was because of this morning. I was glad she affirmed that she needed some time.
We went to Trader Joes first and she wrote down the items and prices while I got what we needed. Total: $42.41
Next we headed to VONS for the specific deals I had found in the add. Foster Farms half chicken breasts for 99 cents a lb. and ground beef for 99 cents a lb. were some exciting sales since meat has been so hard to get at a good price. There was also some pork shoulder for 99 cents a lb which I plan to make into some BBQ pork which they love. That and some dollar bread and pretzels completed our trip. Total: $28.87
Now for Food For Less for pretty much any other non-add items we needed. I was excited to find they had a whole 4lb. lunch meat slab (for lack of a better word) for six bucks! I just need to ask my neighbor to slice it in their meat slicer and then plan to use some for other meals like some breakfast muffin flowers we have not had in a long time. Total: $52.44
Here we stopped for some girl time out at Panda Express. It's one of Princess favorite places. She and I shared a plate of mushroom chicken, noodles, and sweet and sour pork. Her picks. I decided the whole time I was not going to pick topics, or try to talk about life, I was just going to be there for her and let her talk. She talked lighthearted and casual and I think that was just what she needed. Lately there have been so many issues that we seem to only talk when it's about deep hard stuff. A little silly small talk is sometimes important.
Our last stop was for some produce that I had spotted on a Friday, Sat or Sunday only sale. We got a watermelon at 19cents a lb., red bell peppers at 50 cents each, mango's for 33 cents each (bought six to use in strawberry mango breakfast smoothies and maybe some chicken with mango salsa!) ready to go salad in a bag for a buck....cheap thrills, and tons of apples for school lunches. Total $25.06
For a grand total of $148.46... 52 bucks under budget!! That was what I was really hoping for to get those last few things through the next two weeks to make what I have at home work. It seems to be a better way of shopping for me. I get whats cheap, make some obvious meals and then work with the rest by adding one or two ingredients that Rick can pick up on his way home. Or just for another batch of bananas when my monkey of a son eats them all up the first week:)

When we started shopping it was sunny and we were looking for shade to keep the Trader Joes mink cold. By the third store, it was windy and beautiful big dark clouds were blowing in. Once we came out of Albertsons, it was raining! How fun, and it smelt so good! We rented two dollar movies at the machine too which was a fun thrill since we NEVER do that! She walked around sipping her concoction of Dr.Pepper mixed with Sierra Mist that she kept begging me to try out because it was so good. To which I kept making a funny face and tasting it anyway. We had a good time.
We came home and unloaded stuff with just little bit of time before it was time to pick up the other two. It was our secret that she had been home but she made them some butterscotch pudding for after school snack and pretended that I had made it when they got home. :)
So, it's rainy, Rick is due to be done at five and I'll now be heading into the kitchen to make Sloppy Joes, mashed potatoes, sauteed zucchini, salad and watermelon for dessert. Rick called a bit ago and said "oh, honey, that sounds so good!". I just love when he says that.
We plan to veg out and watch "Hotel For Dogs".
And that...was the day. Started hard but worked it's way back around. There is something about the struggle that makes the good times that much sweeter.

At a Parental Loss Part 2: New Growth Requires We Abide

Thank you for those of you who said you would pray for us. I have to tell you, I was assured of it last night. The Lord did not let this thing just go on anymore. He allowed us to sit with Princess, though it was not planned out or anything, and just have a heart to heart. What I had feared from having to correct her so much had happened, she felt we were angry at her. In great sincerity of heart I told her that we were not angry at all, but we were desperate. We were desperate that her heart be in submission to Christ and that she would be walking in His ways. I explained to her that to love her, is to be desperately concerned for her. We discussed how parents who leave their children to do whatever they want and act anyway they want are not loving their children as much. My example I used was our neighbor who she knows let's her children eat anything they want. Even if it means they have hot dogs and chips every meal. Her son will not eat a single fruit or vegetable. Princess herself has heard this mom over at our house saying "I just told them, fine, eat whatever, I'm tired of hearing it". I asked her if it was more loving to work with the child to make sure they ate better or to just let them destroy their bodies because it is too hard or inconvenient to battle with them. She agreed it was more loving to make sure they were fed properly. So, I said it is the same with our giving of instruciton. It would be so much easier to just throw our hands and say "do what you want" or "say whatever you want to all of us" instead of working with you and letting your character development bother us enough to guide you properly. To feed your spirit with God's way and not let you starve spiritually.

We asked her to be reconciled to the Lord in her heart. To which she welled up tears in her eyes and said that she had prayed twice for the Lord and nothing happened. To which my heart just swelled with emotion for her. How, well we all know that feeling and I knew it was time to understand what being a Christian was so this is what I said:

"Christ is not a magic button, Princess. We do not just ask for Him to be our Lord and he reaches down with a wand and says 'bibidy, bobidy, boo!' and our lives and behavior are perfect. That is not the way it works.

Have you seen the little oak tree outside Princess? All of it's leaves are a deep green except for the little tips of the branches. If you look close, you will see that the final inch or so of the tree has a new spring green of growth for the year. That means that in a whole year of taking in nourishment, sun and water, that tree has this tiny result to show for it. It does not look like much, but many years ago, that tree was the size of your brother. Years from now it will be the size of the great beautiful oak by the grain mill that is in the 1800's pictures of the original schoolhouse. It did not happen over night. This little tree has to be patient to grow at the pace God has for it to grow. Every spring those little green leaves are a great reminder to me of His faithfulness.

Now, if the little tree had decided it was not happy with it's rate of growth and gave up saying "I'm not good enough so I'll stop trying" and as a result it shut down it's root system and rejected the light from the sun, what would happen to the tree?"

"It would die" Princess said.

"Yes, it would. And that is why Christ told us to abide in Him. He says that if we abide in him, we will bear fruit. We don't read our bibles and pray out of ritual duty, we do it because we long to be close to him and abide in his will every day. We are virtually opening up our roots and receiving the water of life, and turning our faces to his light to feed our souls. Even when the tree does all this, it grows slowly at times. Some years are better than others. But, it will keep growing if it accepts what God tries to feed it.

We are here as your parents to be used by God to feed you. We try to feed you instruction, wisdom, guidance, right and wrong, love, protection, and all the things you need. If you reject these things, it will stunt your growth. You are getting older and are now able to abide in Christ through us and on your own. You can take the time to pour out your heart to God even tonight and ask Him to be on the throne of your heart instead of you. We promise you that if you abide in Him, you will see change in your life. Not overnight, but you will see it. It's the same lesson for mommy and daddy, we need to abide also or we don't grow. You are not alone in this journey but the important thing is to stay on it."

That is kind of the just of it. She seemed to really understand. She was worried that she could not fall asleep praying. I told her that my dad, her Papa, use to tell me that if you could not sleep praying to the Lord was always the best thing to do. Not only does it made you sleepy, but it sends you out on a peaceful note and your soul is at rest as well as your body.

(my little oak tree and it's yearly spring green growth that reminds me every time)

Sure enough, my little girl, who I went to check on in a little bit, was peacefully sound asleep.

I'm Feeling At A Parental Loss

I don't know what this post will become, I just feel the need to sort it out. Perhaps just be transparent so that someone else can know a real glimpse of my life.
It's very hard when you have a child that you struggle to communicate with. One that has a personality that is in some ways similar to yours but in most ways extremely different. Just absorbing the mere scientific fact of different brain processes and ways of absorbing information would be enough to know that some sensitivity has to come into play. Do you have one person in your life who, no mater what you say to them, they seem to hear it differently and get a completely different meaning from the one you intended? Or perhaps they don't get what you are saying at all. That is the struggle I'm in with my eldest. Rick and I both actually. I'm in a struggle and search right now, knees bent before the Lord in it, to learn how to love and communicate to this child in the way that she needs me to.
I was just telling a blog friend that God has looked down and purposed that we are the perfect parents for our children. I believe that with all that is in me. I trust his sovereign plan to use all that we present to her for the good he will work in her life. That he works through us rather that in spite of us. Yet, the last two days I have not doubted this, but wondered how it can possibly be working here. He knew we would have these problems with our clashing personalities and yet he still said in essence "it is good" for us to be mother and daughter.
I love my daughter with all that is in me but I need to learn how to love her better and how to let her know that I love her without ignoring some issues that she needs to work on in her character.
My personality is full of flaws itself for sure. Mine is one of a survivor mentality at any cost. To push through no matter what comes up, to find a way to make it work. I am not a very cheerful person all the time, but I do believe that being hopeful and positive is powerful and it comes naturally to me.
My child is a defeatist. She will halt from trying just from the mere projection in her mind that it won't work or that she can't. She will cry over school work the minute it does not come easily to her. Thankfully, she is very bright and most of her academics have come easy to her and I think that very fact makes her flip out when it does not. I on the other hand, struggled in academics and learned to find a way and push through doing the best I could each time. I tell her all the time that if you give up and start crying, your brain will freeze and you won't be able to sort out the problem. I have to calm her all the way down before we can move on. She flips if she gets one wrong on a test, or her grades are not straight A+'s across the board. When told by her teacher, during their state reports, that she needed to hand draw the outline of the US with her state in the middle...free-hand...she just could not do it! She tried and was so mad that it did not look right and was in angry tears by the end of about ten pieces of paper on the floor! I HAD to let her trace it from a map or we were never going to get through the project!
I cannot tell you how hard this is.
It's hard for me to see her throw up her hands and give up rather than try her best and be happy with that. It's just so not me. It's not her daddy, and it's not what her daddy and I have taught her or exemplified to her. It's like she just can't function a different way.
Another aspect that has been hard is ongoing negative thinking. For instance, and this is just an example: Lilo brought up in the car yesterday that she was so excited about the end of the school year party at the local pool. To which Princess says "Well, I'm just going to be bored because I'll be at the shallow end and all my friends will be in the deep end because they can swim better". I ask her how she knows that is true. She says that last time she was there, all her friends were in the deep end and she was left in the shallow end. I ask her when she has been to the pool with all her friends before. She says this was when her neighbor friend and another girl where there. That's just two people, I remind her, and "your class has 35 students! I don't think they will ALL be at the deep end ALL of the time you are at the pool." It's like she projects ahead and visualizes herself all alone and decides that she will for sure have a miserable time.
Yesterday was one negative response to life after another from the minute she got in the car.
I had a meeting I was supposed to go to at the school and I had arranged for my friend to watch the kids for me. She was distraught that she could not go home and rest, having some time to herself to listen to her book on CD and do her beads. I understood, I told her so, and that I really did not want to go either but that it was important. She started snipping at her sister because her world was unhappy and she got in trouble for that. As a result, she went in her room and started crying loudly so we could all hear her and spouting out various doom and gloom statements of how awful her life was and how she never had any time to herself. Now, mind you, I could tell she was tired. I suggested that she just lay down for the few minutes we had before the meeting. I even offered her my bed so that she could rest quietly without her sister coming into the room since they share a room. I was truly trying to validate her expressed need for time. She not only did not want that, she refused it and went on about how miserable it was that she could not do what she wanted. Tears again. I tried so hard to swallow so many things racing through my head. I prayed for wisdom and for self-control. I felt a sense of doom myself for a moment realizing that this was only the beginning of a long road ahead with h0rmone swings and efforts to be the strong yet sensitive parent I needed to be. I felt at a loss. I thought it best to let her cry it out but asked her to come to the couch and talk to me if she needed to. She just kept complaining and I finally had to tell her to stop. I asked her to be thankful for so much that she did have, and for the fact that I'm trying to be involved in what goes on at the school (I'm on the school site council which decides where the money goes in the school) and reminded her that I did not want to go myself but was trying to deal with that unselfishly as I was asking her to do as well.
On our way out the door she asked if she could bring what she wanted to listen to (the book on CD) with her. I was bothered by this because these friends of ours have three boys and one older girl, a year older than Princess. They homeschool, so this young lady does not get to do much with other girls her age. I asked her how she did not see that that would be rude to go to her friends and then proceed to sit in a corner and listen to something instead of blessing her friend with playtime. She said she really did not think of that. I tried to remember that she indeed sees life from a different perspective. She seemed earnest in this and I could not question her sincerity despite the obvious rudeness it presented to me. So, I accepted what she said and tried to explain how that would be insensitive to her friend.
I was running late by now. I dropped them off at my friends giving her a big hug outside before leaving and telling her that I loved her and I was trusting God to help us through these things. I told her I hoped she and her friend would enjoy the time. She was sulky but went on in.
I got up to the school only to find out that they had misprinted when the meeting was to be. It was not till next Tuesday. I wanted to rave to everyone about how hard I had worked to get myself there and what I'd been through with my daughter to get there as well. I took a big sigh and headed back out to my car. I drove to my friends house and she opened the door in surprise that I was back. I explained while Princess came down the hall (now, mind you, MAYBE 10 minutes has passed since I dropped them off) with a big grin on her face and said "but, I don't want to leave, I'm actually having fun!"
Something in myself just became overwhelmed with exhaustion. I smiled back and said, that I was glad and we would stay for about 15 minutes more. Inside I was not angry, not sad, not anything. I was just wondering how I was going to ride this roller coaster for seven plus more years.
That's all I'm going to vent out today. There is more but it may or may not be chatted on here.
I'm just seeking God and saying "show me how!". I know he is faithful but I feel weary. The other two are so easy going and I sometimes feel that I'm so worn and distracted from riding the roller coaster with one that I have to stop and say "oh, yeah, I'm your mommy too!" They can be up in the morning and everything is pleasant. Then Princess gets up and the whole tone of life changes. It bothers me that this happens. I ask her to be a peacemaker (her daddy has been teaching her that for so many hears) but instead she nit-picks at her siblings and always has some grievance about something. We have not been neglecting her heart on this either. We have been working on it for many years. We have taken her to the Word, and she certainly knows what's right. Yet, I don't want to always be on her and make her think that we don't love her or that she can't do anything right all the time. Yet, there are so many zillions of every day issues that there are few moments when things ARE going well for her. If she has a good day with everything going smooth for her things are great. As we all know, life does not work that way so there are so many moments of trial. I don't know how to get her to relax. I don't know how to get her to lighten up. I don't know how to get her to take things in stride. I don't know how to get her to see the good. I can tell her all these things till I'm blue in the face, and I have, but I cannot make her change. Only God can do that. I just feel overwhelmed with the HOW right now.

Is It Really "The Happiest Place On Earth"?

We still don't have a computer. After Dell sent ours back refusing to fix it (URG!) we got very busy with our requirements for Fostering and getting ready for a trip to Disneyland!!!

A couple in our church graciously blessed and astounded us with five four day passes for our family at Christmas time. We were so shocked.... I cried. We told the kids on Christmas Eve and I wondered at the time why they were not very excited, as I was. When we were getting ready to go though they were not able to sit still. Lilo was pacing the kitchen with her roller luggage and pillow in hand way before it was time to go out the door. Something occurred to me at that point. Children are such a picture of us all. I thought of their lack of excitement at Christmas and pondered again why they were not elated as they were when we were ready to leave. Are we not the same. God promises us heaven with a ticket bought and payed for by the blood of his precious Son. Yet, we not only do not show excitement, we even forget about it. After all, it's not now right? Now we see the pile of "presents under the tree" and they are the tangible, the here and now, the immediate gratification we so long for. It's the same reason the kids gave a quiet "yeah!" lacking the triumphant exclamations I had expected. They had their presents under the tree for the next morning and a supposed guaranteed trip to ..hello...DISNEYLAND was in the unknown future. We say the same thing to God..."um, I'll take my next cheap thrill here and now please!" Oh, how foolish we are. They also had no idea what to expect since they had never been. They had no maturity of foresight to glean from. If they only knew how that new little toy would pale in comparison to a day of non-stop fun. Yet, we are promised an eternity of absolute joy. We forget, and when we remember, we just can't see the value of the coming bliss, we only see the bling-bling of the present and we run to it because it gives that superficial high. Even Disneyland itself is a difficult thing to come down from. Returning to reality became a longing of mine by the third day. The value and peace of simplicity and every day hard work is factored into our making and actually gives us more joy than adrenaline kicked up thrills. We tire of it quickly and even the most amazing, and most entertaining thrill will need to be topped by something better. Even though I was moved to hear Julie Anderews words at the end of the fireworks show (which is so fun!) and felt my chest swell with a sob to think that my children were given this chance when we cold not have given it to them ourselves, I could not help but see the futility of a child thinking that this wonderful place would indeed make all their dreams come true and be "the happiest place on earth" for them. It is fun, and it is wonderful, and I am so thankful beyond words that God literally gave us this trip through many different gracious and generous hands, I feel the impact of the fact that it is also a "present under the tree" of this life and pales in comparison to the fullness of joy that awaits. So, I thank God for his parental patience with us as His children and his love to give us those gifts anyway at times, and holding back at others. To understand that we cannot possibly know what He holds for us and therefore we foolishly seek such temporal drop-in-the-bucket thrills. I hope my children learn that in their lives. I hope I learn it before the end too! All is enjoyed with open hand, to be taken at any moment without begrudging him the taking because all I have is goodness dropped in the lap of no doing of my own. Nothing is owed me and yet all fullness is promised me. I hope I learn to remember more than I forget. Even that would be seeing things ever so slightly more as they really are. After all, the world is a Fantacyland with wood and paint and special effects. An attempt to create the reality of joy our hearts long for. Over as quickly as it started, happiness fleeting as fast as it came, unpredictable and unsteady. Don't bank on it. It could disappear in a moment and without the Lord and His promises and fullness of joy, we will be left standing in the greatest emptiness we have ever known.

We did have a wonderful time. Lilo was sick the second day and even spiked a fever which frustrated me because we had three weeks of sickness before we left so I thought "oh, no, here we go again and we will have to go on home". She had had a cold, pink eye, and the puke flu before we left. Princess had a fever and cold. Superkid had the puke flu and I got it last right before we were about to go. In the midst of that, Rick and I were trying to get in our CPR and First Aid training, a preliminary walk through and TB test. We are pretty much done with our stuff except for a few toddler locks needed on the cabinets, and a print out of our DMV records. They have 90 days to get us licensed so that puts us being done near the end of the school year.

Oh, I forgot to say that we prayed for her and she was fine the next morning. I think she just got way over worn out. I layed there the night she had been sick and just prayed "Lord, give us wisdom if we need to go home we need to go home but you gave us this trip and if it's your will, let her enjoy the last two days." He did, and she had lot's more fun.

I was ever grateful I do not live in that area though...LA traffic is one of the worst things in the world.

Hey! Stopping In To Say Hi!

I'm at the kids school. School gets out in 20 minutes. I'm hoping to take a few to say hello and give a personal update.
First of all....congrats to Christy and her husband for their new baby! I don't know much except for the fact that the baby is here. Tricia gave me the heads up! I don't get to read blogs either till I get a few hours to crash over at my neighbors and that has not happened yet. Anyway..yeah you guys! I'm so happy for you.

Rick and I have taken 3 sessions of foster parenting classes.

Princess had a HUGE sleepover with three girls from school and one from church. That was exciting....for her. No, really it was fun, we had pizza and played a game and her teacher came, it was great. All the girls went to church with us too...I thought I would never survive getting six girls ready for church but we were.....drum roll please....early! I work well under pressure. :)

About the classes and foster parenting journey....where do I begin!!! Wow, it's been a blessing. It's intense to be trained on what these kids have been through. Last night was our attachment disorder session. Oh, my goodness, it makes you want to save every kid on the planet...now! I have gone through mood swings of self doubt, money fears, fear of people we will be exposed to, fear of the child we take, you name it. I had something recently that the enemy really used to make me even doubt my own parenting skills. BUT GOD!!! Oh, God is good. He reminds me and feeds my mind with truth. He tells me not to fear. He tells me I can trust Him with the details. He fills my heart with desire to give...somehow, to help. Even trying is a step of faith.

We talked to the kids. We told them my history. There are no more secrets at our house. I was so scared how to get it down on the level of Lilo and Superkid but God just stepped in and it all was so simple and came out so clear. I wish I had more time to tell you some of the cute things Superkid said as his brain was turning. We still have a lot of family talking to do. Superkid has had lots of questions. He could not easily fathom the parent who would not care for their child or especially hurt them. It was hard to burst his innocent bubble on that one but until we see the world how it is, we don't feel the pain, hurt and need. I am so thankful for our public school transition for this reason too. It has opened my eyes to need, both spiritual and physical of some children.
They also seemed to understand about my bio-father. It was a little confusing at first. I told them basically what I said here about wanting to honor their Papa by doing what he had done for me. That seemed simple and easy to understand. They are excited. We told them this is a very up in the air type of journey. There is much that will be unexpected and we have to be loving and flexible and extremely laid back to ebb and flow. Thankfully, I think our family, or at least Rick and I are naturally laid back people so perhaps we were made for this type of ministry. We both have a common desire to major on the majors, catch the vision, and then, enjoy life and the diversity it brings. I am so thankful my husband shares this passion as I do, it makes us more of a team. I think my children are developing it in their own way. It's a blessing to see. I want them to understand the huge power of love for people. God knew that and he sent his Son to die from that passion for people. We should imitate his heart.
So, I'm almost out of time. School is out soon and I have to spell check this since I'm awful at it. There is a little boy in Princess class who does not have support much at home and he made honor roll today! I'm taking him a balloon and some new pencils with a congrats note. He is so excited. Pray for him if you think of it today. He has a tough home life.
Hope to be back sooner than later!!

My Christmas Baby Turns 11!

I became a mommy eleven years ago today. At 11:35 on Christmas morning we welcomed "Princess" Noelle (that's her middle name, Noelle) into our lives.

Happy Birthday "Baby" Girl! We love you and you are a precious Christmas gift every year!

You are growing into a lovely lady XOXO.

Sometimes You Gotta Let Fate Design A Room

Those of you who read frequently know the girls room has been a quandary for me for a long time. I've been all over the place on ideas, have taken back those shiny comforters for money reasons, and been back to the drawing board so many times. I had a breakthrough one day when cleaning my room and picking up an old 2006 Home Companion magazine. I have had it forever in my stack because I use to have a subscription. I LOVED the wall color. Not for a dinning room as it is shown here, but for the girls room.

So, I went to Home Depot and tried to find something close. The picture above showed me some elements that would make it work. The mantle and table are white, the chairs brass so that gave me the idea of how good it would work with their old French Provincial furniture. I found a color and got my tester quart. I went home and painted a by 2 foot square on the wall in their room. I felt it was too dark, and too purple. Rick like it though. So, I decided to just dig in. I went back for two gallons and painted the room from after I dropped them off at school, till 10 pm at night. They camped out in the living room. After I did the first wall I paniced big time. It was bold, and dark. I knew the girls got a lot of light in their room though so I pressed on in faith.

Once the room was done, we loved it. It was dark, but it was very royal and beautiful. We brought in the furniture and just went "wow!". We had found a wonderful combination.

From there I figured to go with aqua and yellow floral I had found in a beautiful vintage sheet. The plan was to make a duvet and shams and such. The girls room had been lavender and white so although the curtains were still that, I was determined not to do any lavender in the room.

Until this past Thursday. I was at the Goodwill dig with Rick (oh, my goodness, we did so good. We got four boxes for 30 dollars which included: 4 2' square Lego panels which cost 30 bucks almost each new, Scatagories complete, Payday complete, Blues Clues complete, about 8 pairs of jeans for the kids, some funky shirts for funky Lilo, A globe basketball for Superkid, An Army jacket for him to play dress up but that is actually his size, books for Princess, Tupperware, a hanging lamp for my friend who was looking for one, a Nerf gun, a transformer, a vintage suitcase which I use for decorative storage, and more) and going through the fabric and bedding, I came across this beautiful quilt and sham. They were absolutely gorgeous but guess what color they were? Lavender and white. Actually, they are Lilacs. Which is cool, it's one of my favorite flowers but I stood there and went "no, I don't want more lavender!". See, when I change things, I really change them. It's not like me to keep any part of the color scheme the same. Still, this was so pretty, and such a good quality quilt that I decided to grab it and if I hated it I could sell it or give it away. I happened to find two lavender gingham pillowcases that matched perfectly too.

(the wall looks a tad darker in the picture) (don't ya love Lilo's black and white Converse at the foot of the bed! They were given to us fro her brother but she snagged them first. Such an oxymoron to the bedding:)

I came home and washed it with hot water and lots of soap. I mended the two frays in it. I made the bed and stepped back and went "wow, okay, I give in."

And you could not beat the price which was next to nothing. Oh, and those window treatments that I was thinking I would just use till I could make something else, well, they worked perfectly.

Hey, one huge project I don't need to do anymore!

(I'll show the rest of the room when we get it done.)

If You Knew Me, You Would Understand

(first I just have to say about the quiz below...it's very accurate, but.. I don't get physical when I'm mad, and I don't make a habit of cursing! Also, I hope I have some more tender qualities than just those mentioned. I still am wreathing that I'm Betty Davis, she is the one Hollywood woman I would never admire. Humph.)

So, if you knew me, you would know why I get tickled about these things.

I found a vintage Little People for Superkid at the Goodwill Outlet (I call it "the dig" because you dig for things literally). I was so excited just to find the frame. It's not as old as the one Rick and I had growing up which had the chalkboard, but it had a retractable playground that is way cool and it had parts too! That is not usually the case at the dig. So, today I cleaned it up with an old toothbrush and some soft scrub w/ bleach. It is so cute now!

We have a crate of a bunch of vintage little people all ready that he can add to this to have more kids and so on.
The really fun thing about this and a reason I think it was a fun thought of God's that I found it, is that school itself is so new to him this year. He is now going to understand the play and be able to get more out of it. So fun!
Just had to share my other little thrill. I use to have a tradition where I would wrap garland and beads on our dinning room light at Christmas to make a type of holiday chandelier. This year I did not want to do that because I don't want to mess with my new special one .

So, I had all this white garland and had some fun with it. I wrapped it around my entry way lamps instead. It gave the same effect as it did in the dinning room, a rather snowy feel to we deprived California types. A cheap thrill.

When lit they are warm and cozy. The one on the right is shown before I turned the shade around so the overlap is showing of the garland. You want to put that in the back normally. It's very easy to do. You just start a loop and tuck it, wrap around to the top and tuck that. No glue or anything.

Lastly, here are some pics form Thanksgiving day before we left for my mom's. We forgot to take the camera to moms:*.

Superkid cuddling with Shasta. If you are on my facebook, you all ready know this cat hates me. She loves Superkid but she is meaning to give me those evil eyes, trust me. Her brother loves me, so it's not me, right? As I said on facebook, I'm sure she is a dominatrix. She likes him because she knows he is the least in charge in the house. She hates me because I boss her when to get off or down all the time.

Rick watching the parade and playing big legos with Superkid.

Lilo happy in a chair with a bucket of crayons and a notebook.

Princess helping me peel apples. She was so cute in her apron.

Superkid building Diego's treehouse with daddy's help.

Such A Time For Spilling Salt

I'm coming by to check in a little and then check back out. Unfortunately I don't have time lately to even share lots of fun stuff and some thoughts about this week.

I've been all over the board emotionally this week. Pensive would be the big one about my country. Totally joyful in trusting God and excited that I'm SURE He is stirring us up to "such a time as this". I can almost feel the wind begin to blow harder. I'm excited about that as the wind started blowing in my own life over two years ago and the stirring of the Holy Spirit in my soul has changed me forever. I look forward to further stirring, further banishing of fear, and further passion to be salt in a culture that is in decay. I look forward to seeing this happen to many move believers as their lives are challenged. I look forward to seeing us not hide and wait for the coming of the Lord, but be engaged AMONG the pagans as it says in Peter. I've been encouraged reading first and second Peter. 2 Peter 2 is telling of the times. I was listening to Focus on The Family the day before election day as I painted the girls room. It was sobering and excellent. Here is the link. It was called "For Such a Time As This".

I've been thinking about the fact that world is building up to truly be hostile toward followers of Christ. Even here in our safe little America. A man has brought many people together of all races, age, income and everyone is excited about that and gathering in mobs to cheer it. There is only one group of people not welcome there in that great mass of "all accepting" individuals and that is us, those who believe the Word of God tells us right from wrong. Those of us who still cringe in our hearts to know this man supports an aborted infant should lay and die after surviving the failed attempt of the abortion process. We live in a world where we call things other than what they are in order to become more comfortable with them. Those who raise their heads and say "it's actually this" will be the unwelcome ones. I fear that that unwelcome spirit will be the birth place for an end time hostility toward Christ followers. I wonder what world my children will be in. I keep thinking "come quickly Lord Jesus" and then I read in 2 Peter that his wait is his own amazing patience that more should come to the truth and his love before he slams his fist down and says "that's it! Enough!". If he can be patient for those he still aches to draw to himself, then I can too and I will get out there to aid Him in reaching them. I have never been more confirmed that I AM to be in the Public School. I hope more Christians return to that mission field. I am excited to walk along this challenging path with my children as be face the culture, engage in it, and discern our way through it with the powerful Word of God. I have been thinking that much of this turn in our culture is a result of our lack, my lack, of passion to put salt in the rot of society. We have been guilty of keeping the salt in the shaker and the light under baskets. I have been guilty. No mater what arena God has us in, we need to bee reaching out and speaking truth like we have nothing to loose and all to gain. Each of us has this little sphere around us, this perimeter of sorts that we ARE capable of obeying God by shining and salting. Are we? I think what is happening in our culture is a sign that we are not. I think it is a sign that Christians are more crippled by fear than anything else, and more faithful in formulas than the power of God. I believe the Holy Spirit is preparing to awaken our souls in perhaps a painful way...by stripping away our false securities. That is when we see what we really hope in, where we are really headed, and what we are really supposed to be doing here. I say bring it on, we need it. I need it. If any verse has become mine from the Lord in the last year it is this: "For He has not given us a spirit of fear but of POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND." I have always had that memorized since childhood to where it began to loose meaning. I have began to understand what it really means and how it really changes my life. The opposite of these qualities of the spirit are FEAR, SELFISHNESS (all forms of self seeking including hiding in comfort zones), AND FRANTIC/ANXIOUS THINKING (worry, distrust of sovereignty , twisted belief of truth etc.).

On my mind also has been a lesson from the Lord to be careful to mind my own business unless I am sharing Him (as apposed to my opinion more so:). I am trying to turn this weeks emotions of wanting to change the world and what has happened to it, to focusing on what I need to do in my own family to just take care of my own. I have been both shocked, and disillusioned for moments at the fact that some christian people I know of, or grew up with, voted for a man who is so blatantly against the very teaching of the Word of God (let alone a bad political choice). That has really slowed down my step a few times. The Lord has reminded me to carry on with the joy and peace of my own walk with Him, and my own business..my family, my husband , my children. I guess it's been a reminder that all the rest (and even all of my own stuff) is in God's hands and not mine. Shocker...eh?:)

I have pondered the life span of this blog lately. What kind of world will it be to blog in? Where there be future concerns for blaring my beliefs across cyberspace? Will it someday put my family in harms way? Does anybody really want to hear it all anyway? I guess I've been tempted to disillusionment on that level as well. I think being too busy to blog has added to it. I think I'm in a burn out mode on the blog for many different reasons.

On the home front we gave my dad's old big oak desk to some friends. That was hard emotionally but good to size down. I was glad it went to my friend so I can visit it now and then. I have so many memories of him sitting at it doing bills. It's a moose though and we are trying to simplify. That along with working on the girls room has cause some moving of furniture and all kinds of stuff is everywhere. AH! So, that is the reason I'm coming and going again. This whole next week will be full of putting things right again. The kids also have four days off! So, that will be fun.

Today Lilo got an amazing award. I'll have pics later. She was chosen as the student of the quarter by her teacher. I made sure to keep it a surprise and since I was in her class today anyway, she did not wonder why I was there. I have a pic to share later. I'm so proud of her. She has been doing so well. They all have. I had my parent teacher meetings this week and all three kids are at the top of their class. Princess is making all A+'s! She does not know it yet, but her teacher told me today that SHE has been chosen the student of the quarter for her class and will be getting her award next Friday. So, I guess she can't read my blog this week:). Amazingly too, Lilo's reading level has jumped from end of second grade to fifth grade level! Oh, my goodness. All that girl needed was a confidence boost and some time in her own element out of the shadow of her sister and she has taken off. Superkid is writing small sentences and reading readers now. When I met with Princess teacher she told me how helpful and attentive Princess is and that it's kids like her that make her want to come in and teach the next day. That was a blessing from the Lord. I give Him the glory that hey are doing so well and blessing those around them. I was in second grade all day today except with lunch with Princess (I'm excited she WANTS to have lunch with me still) and it was, as always, fun to talk to the kids, help grade their papers and help them with ones they got wrong, and rip out pages so the teacher can have them ready to go later. I have so much joy is serving and connecting with the teachers and kids. Every time I'm there I'm impressed with how precious all those children are to the Lord and how much he wants to reach them. Tomorrow we go to a birthday party of a boy in Lilo's class. I don't know this family or the other mom's and families who will be there but this is what I'm talking about. This is something God is bringing into my perimeter, and I'm starting to keep my opportunity eyes open. I am thankful that I get the chance to be among more unsaved who need him, who need hope. The connection of school becomes a catalyst for other opportunities to turn that shaker upside down and start sprinkling the salt. It's done one opportunity at at time, and one person at a time, and I'm learning more and more that building the relationships is the most important because they are the foundation for ministry. Just like missionaries live for years and years AMONG the people to build those foundations with them a they slowly share the good news. It shows them you are not just selling a bill of goods, or trying to convince them of something you think is right, or wanting to check them off your door to door list. You are invested, you are engaged with a concern for their soul and the life they live here and now. How many there are who are AMONG the people of other countries, how few their are who are AMONG the lost of our own culture and times.

What are we afraid of?

I looked at those people cheering on Chicago's "front lawn" and I felt we had abandoned them to their deceptions. We have gone and built our homes away, put up our walls, and hoped for protection from the world until Christ comes. We hope to stay safe and keep safe what is "ours". We have failed do surrender and sacrifice with our faith in God for our "own" (which is not really our own, but His) and we have left them to themselves. I wonder if God is frustrated with us. What started out as a righteous movement to bring our children up right, has become a wall between us and those we are called to reach. If we are called to be home only, we should have a passion to bring them in. But I wonder if many of us are missing a calling to go out. I wonder if God may even use legislation in the future to get Christians back into the trenches of the culture they are so afraid of. The culture they are born in and called to engage. I hope it does not come to that but I wonder if God will use it since we are not going out on our own. I wonder if he will allow many challenges to us to force us to engage the culture. I wonder if he is saddened by our apathy for the decay and deception around us. Do we not realize that without the showing of light, they will not even know they are in utter darkness? Who will show them? Will we leave them to themselves, their road to hell, while we walk our padded road to heaven?

Will we go out to save those of the world and abandon our own countrymen?

So we think we go out unarmed, and our children too? Do we not belive in the armor of God? Do we think it's weak? Do we think our methods stronger?

Can we not raise our own children in truth AND reach out to the many who need Christ as well. Think about it. If we guard our won, and raise them to guard their own, as they guard their own...how many lost will be reached? Are we to breed a kingdom for God, or go out to the ends of the earth and our very streets for those who are to be in the kingdom of God? If we teach them to lead, as we lead however, how many more will be reached?

These are just my thoughts. They are certainly my own ramblings. They are my concerns and it is becuase of the level of this stirring passion within me, and my humbling realization that God works in and through all in different ways, that I have become focused on MY mission. There is work to do. I hope to work. There is a harvest to be gleaned, I hope to glean. I hope to work and glean along side my children and to pray they are impassioned with the mission as well.

It is not my job to convince but to obey my God and his calling for me, and to encouraged those around me to do what his word says and "go" in the way they are called. I do hope to share my heart here.

This quote by Amy at "Amy Writes" was phenomenal to me:

"We, as a Church, seem to have a "Keep God in Schools," but "Keep Christian Kids Out of them," mentality."

The same could be said about the culture in general. We are in this culture, called to THIS time, and not another.

BE ENGAGED.....BE READY.....BE IN THE WORLD AND NOT OF IT.......BE FEARLESS......BE PASSIONATE FOR TRUTH....

BE CHRIST, FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS.

NO WAY! I just posted this link on my facebook status and this was the set of code words (usually random) given me to allow my link to be put up : "vigilant revival".
No, way...too weird....

Seek The Lord In Schooling Saturday

This girl has been tired. I'm lucky to be here doing this blog. I wanted so bad to get my husband rocks one in yesterday but there was not time. I'll save it for next week. If you have been over to Good, Better, Best at all, you know I'm working on some big goals. Adjusting to the exercising is wearing me out this week. Plus, there is always stuff to do and be done! Good is good, I just need to rest more this weekend.
There was quite bit to talk about school this week though so I did not want to miss that.
-Superkid was able to read some words this week and write his numbers to 30. His teacher was excited to share that with me. He tries to sound out a lot of things he sees everywhere now. I was at the school to help in Lilo's class all afternoon and just snuck onto the playground to watch him play for a bit. When he first started school he was the most shy socially. Now he runs all about pretending and playing superheros and cops and robbers. At one point he had ten little girls orchestrated in some game where he was saving them all. They seemed very happy to play his games. I know, he's cute isn't he? Hands off for 20 years ladies! :)

-Lilo has been learning a lot about the metamorphosis of the Monarch Butterfly. Mrs.M has a living plant in the back that has three changing caterpillars. I have never seen a Monarch chrysalis before. It is astounding.

Lilo wrote a whole little book on it with pictures herself. It was so cute, I want to find it and scan it to post this week. She also made a green chrysalis and they took gold glitter glue to make these gorgeous natural gems shown here,on the outside of it. It was made like a pocket and they made little black and yellow caterpillars that could go inside. So fun.

I helped in her class yesterday and was very happy to this time especially since her teacher's husband was in the ICU. I could not believe her strength to go on and teach with all that going on. She said it was better to stay busy though. I caught a great picture of Lilo and her best buddies out at recess. She got to have her friend S. come home for playtime and dinner all evening. They had great time. We made a deep 13x9 pan of apple "pie" served with ice cream. Their neighbor friend Johnny joined us too. Thy all watched "Alvin and the Chipmunks".

Lilo and "S"Spidie for the evening:)Princess

Johnny

I truly believe in making our home open to many children. It was through the kids befriending of Johnny and his hours and hours over playing, sharing dinner, and his mom coming to talk with me, that I was able to share the Lord with her. As a result of God's goodness, their family has come back to the Lord after many years of wondering. You can never underestimate the mission field of the home.

For the same reason I allow the kids to invite kids over. To be in our home, to hear about Christ, to have fun time. Some end up going to awana with them. There is always a channel opened up between us and at least one parent. There is the beginning of opportunities and I look for them all the time. It has brought me great joyful purpose to be reaching out along with my children, to the public school scene and coming into our home is an even greater chance to make bonds of friendship that can be used by God later. It's like we just say we're willing Lord, we will love them, and wait for the time to tell. Maybe it's a snippet here, a conviction there, it's all important and God uses it. You just have to be laying foundations made sometimes of apple pie.

-Princess is making straight A's of which we are proud. Her attitudes have remained much more God-glorifying lately for which we have praised her. She is writing her own book right now. She let her friends at school read the first page and she was very encouraged with they all found it very fascinating. She wrote late into the night last night. I hope to put some of it on here too soon. She shows some great talent for writing. Starting next week, I will be in her class as well. A room of 35 (the class maximum btw) fifth graders should be interesting.

I asked for prayer for diligence at home this week and I was given strength to do that. I stayed home a lot more. The house has not been perfect but I have been able to stay up on the basics that allow meals to be made, and just tidy settings. My walking for over two hours a day has taken a big chunk out of my day for now but my husband is supporting my short time needed to get ahead in some of these goals. I actually feel better emotionally through the day because of the time taken to exercise while they are at school. It's just the adjustment to the new output of energy that is making me tired in the afternoon more. I know my body will catch up soon.

We hit a small public school speed bump so to speak that I wanted to mention since I agreed to be honest and tell it like it is on this journey. The kindergarten class has a curriculum to help kids understand proper touching and improper touching. I understand why they have to do it. There are kids out there being abused and they need to know what is abuse. Rick and I discussed it and although we trust that the concepts are at age level appropriateness we had two problems with this. (1) we feel that these subjects should be addressed by us, his parents. We understand that many parents either do not take care of this, or are actually abusing so they need to do it. We know we can cover what is needed and we know he is not in those situations. (2) Though the curriculum could be layed out for us to see, and we could even approve it, there is always the unknown variable of what the children will say in discussion. No one can predict that for us. So, we decided he would not participate. I talked to his teacher who is a great christian woman, and she was very understanding. She is completely okay with me coming to take him out of class for that half hour the three days of the teaching. It looks like we will go to the library to read or something. So, there are solutions, but you do have to pay attention to what's going on. Rick and I are firm believers that school should be ABC's and 123's. It is unfortunate that society has come to the need of the schools to educate children on these things, but I agree it is necessary, just not for my five year old.

My prayers for this coming week would be:

Continue dilegence on my part at home.

I have a burden to lead the children through the elements of the armor of God. Prayers for wisdom as to how to put that together to present to them in our family time.

Prayer for Lilo's dear teacher and her husband in ICU.

Would you like to share you "Seek The Lord In Schooling Saturday" post? Link here.

(to learn more what this theme is go here)

OH....and the evening ended with Lilo loosing a tooth!

Those Who Govern Are Established By God

Our pastor was brave enough to address the biblical issues on the table with the upcoming election (click here to hear "A Chritian Perspective On Political Envolvement"). Another great sermon.

Something wonderful that was applicable to our lives now and worthy of teaching our children was Romans 13:1-7.

The first verse is the most important to the times I think:

"Every person is to be in subjection tot his governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God."

It is a verse that revolutionizes our stress levels when it comes to politics, stretches our faith in God, and changes our attitudes toward those appointed with whom we disagree. Of course the application is obvious in regard to the coming Presidential outcome. Even NoBama....ur...I mean, Obama if elected will be there because God established him to be. Not that he is a mistake and God will have to work with it, God will have appointed him. Another post could be written on the purposes God may have for the challenge of such a man in office. Not today though.

What really was impressed upon us was that we have an obligation to live out this faith to our children. We should speak boldly to them about the issues where they are right and where they are wrong, but we need to maintain a joyful attitude of respect and honor of the man once he's there, no mater who he is. For according to this verse, there is no authority figure not appointed by him. To resist the authority would be to go against God. Unless the authority asks of us to go against God as the men in Paul's time did in telling him not to preach. He of course did not obey. The verses go on to say that these men are not a cause of fear for those who do good, but to control those who do not. So, we respect them as a minister of God for our good (vs. 4)

Princess had a substitute teacher a week ago that was not good with the kids. Princess has loved going to school so far, but the second day that she knew this substitute would be there, she was playing the sick card. I am, along with other mom's, making an official complaint because of some of the ways this woman dealt with the children ..

(oh, my word, Superkid just brushed his teeth with DESITIN!!!!! LOL! I didn't even know we had any of that anymore....oh dear!! Rick is going to brush them over again and hopefully fix the problem...eeek)

.. and her impatience with them. However, she was really getting verbally disrespectful in her critique of this woman and Rick and I had to remind her to be respectful even if things were not going well. We reminded her that the bible tells us to respect authority because it was from Him. We were not sure where the passage was till pastor preached. So, this has really given us more to work with. It's a hard lesson to learn that you have to show respect for the position. If you are doing what you are supposed to, then you don't need to worry. Only worry if you are not. We explained to her that even that teacher had been appointed by God to be her authority for those days and she needed to honor that.

The next few years, depending on how the vote goes, may be a time when our children have to see our faith lived out and our trust in God above men revealed. It will be challenging, and there may be deeper conversations around the dinner table, but it will be important for them to see us hope in the Lord above all, and to trust that what He says in Romans 13 is true. Whether its Nobama or a cranky substitute teacher.

Afterthought: You know whats a great thought to relish? If Romans 13 is true, even an ungodly man in authority will be fulfilling the very purposes of God without knowledge of his particiation. Ooooo... I just love that thought!

Seek The Lord In Schooling Saturday: Relationships

Well, here we go, my first post in this department. I hope some of you others will take up the theme too so we can share and pray for one another.
Again, "Seek The Lord In Schooling" is for every mom with kids in every arena of schooling. It is a time to share praises and to share concerns. Or perhaps just what the Lord is laying on your heart in regard to your kids education and schooling. It's for the homeschool mom and the public school mom and everything in between.
My burden this week is a regaining of diligence so that I can spend some more time talking to Princess. This last week was hairy to say the least. I need to learn better how to structure my time. We did way too much this week. We did not get to have our share at the table time as much because of these events. I realize how special that time is and how we need it. So, this next week, my prayer is that I will be diligent at home to have complete freedom to just relate to my kids more.
People think if you kids go to school, you have all this time. Well, you do, but life always has something for you. This week, I had one home sick, a baby needed watching by a friend who needed sleep, another friend in the hospital, playdates and an outing as a family, lots of baking, and a full day of deal shopping for groceries and Rick's birthday. Needless to say, the house has needed my attention when the kids were home. That is what we don't want. Our burden when putting them in school was for me to wear the housewife hat and do it well, so that the minute I pick them up, my mommy hat is on. I am not supposed to do housework during kid time. The only exception we allow is dinner making and clean up. It's amazing how much they really are home! Especially with a holiday this week, and one home sick. That gave me three days of school, which equals 18 hours. Six of which I ran errands, four of which I watched a sweet baby (and realized how much I suck now at multi-tasking...how good I use to be at that!), and that leaves eight hours and at least half of that I did baking. Not as much time as one might think.
So, I am praying for discipline and wisdom to know what to say not to for myself and our family. I am praying for perseverance for the everyday to have that haven my family loves to come home to. I'm praying for opportunities to be mommy this week and relate to my precious children and in that, disciple them for the Lord. My I seek him this week all the more. I'll report how it went next week.
What are your thoughts regarding schooling and your kids this week? How are you seeking the Lord for them and your family ? Do you have specific prayer needs? Do you have triumphs you just want to thank him for? Do you have something that worked great for your family? If you don't have kids in school, remember you are schooling them every day in every way so that does not exclude you. What are your thoughts regarding their learning and even their training in the Lord? What things are you starting to notice about they way they learn? What is the Lord showing you? What are you delighting in?
Share, share, share!
And remember, always seek the Lord for their schooling...HE is faithful to direct and it will lead to your delight!

Copy the code and past it in your blog to take part.

<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258543883780218194" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsymVCNFAgo3HYSPdpZMDNrRvmkfnhekfVyjju32pVcP-scsyFCgk0Gawd9eqWk_z_BqeMGkrXP16ntj59J3bVPW7PWAh5V6OvJKviEWC6VIZ7V2yrofi4jD1qHJXMywIgzfvIMgQkAOQ/s200/schoolhouse_slugb.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />

Here is the code for the larger on to use at the heading of your post if you like. Remember to click "Edit html" in your new post box before pasting it. Don't past it in "compose" mode or it will publish as a code.

<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTYQh0FgLjeoMLwIsDjV1cwMLoyP5Mo3z28sxR2-q0tCX1bi4WBBRtNljEydlgP2FeTxQ0XeWIte08BlDI13YvZ3JYCS8F0pNl9fIq1Y3z77aVjSQSmd9B2rX0EyqEgKhbigve8AP345g/s1600-h/schoolhouse_slugb.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5258543342775131330" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTYQh0FgLjeoMLwIsDjV1cwMLoyP5Mo3z28sxR2-q0tCX1bi4WBBRtNljEydlgP2FeTxQ0XeWIte08BlDI13YvZ3JYCS8F0pNl9fIq1Y3z77aVjSQSmd9B2rX0EyqEgKhbigve8AP345g/s400/schoolhouse_slugb.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />

If you decide to do a "Seek The Lord In Schooling Saturday" post on your blog, just fill this out and you will be linked from this post! Thanks for taking part!




Make sure to link the exact URL of your blog post! You can do that by right clicking on your blog post title, copy, and paste it here in the URL request spot. Otherwise, later when people link they will be taken to the latest on your blog and not your Saturday post.

Pumpkins, Recipes and a Blog Tag

We had a great pumpkin farm day this year. Unfortunately we don't have a lot of great pics though. Princess was feeling sick and had a bad headache. By the time the trip was nearly over she was in the car with a fever. She ended up having what Superkid did last week. These long incubation periods bug me because you think it's over but it's not. She did good just to be trying to smile in the photos. Lilo was fighting off tears moments before these were taken (the first two anyway) because we were not able to fit in the hay ride this year. So, they sat on the tractor for a pic and had to try to look their happiest. They did have a great time the rest of the day though. We were so glad Rick was able to go and we went with the G. family from church (not sure if you use last names Christina...so being careful:)

The yearly tradition of a honey stick is always appreciated too.:)
We came home and made Chocolate Pudding Cake to top off the day! Superkid was thinking it was heavy, thus the strain to smile for the picture. :)*

We came home and incorporated the tiny pumpkins into the dining room decor. Wow, lovin' the orange. The do get carried around and played with most of the time too. When I talked about baking the larger ones, Superkid acted like I was going to murder something. I told him, we would wait until the last minute possible before the pumpkin would be going bye bye anyway. I think he things they last forever.
After the pumpkin farm, we went to get apples with our friends and now have some great crispy sweet ones in the fridge. I'm hoping to post some apple recipes in the Cupboard soon. In the meantime there are a bunch of new ones:
Florentine Chicken Ring

Chili Skillet
Trial Mix Cookies (originally from Christina)Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins

And...finally today...I'm getting FINALLY to a blog tag from my friend Nicole. Sorry it's taken me so long Nicole!

Rules:
1. Post the rules on your blog.
2. Write six random things about yourself.
3. Tag six people at the end of your post.
4. If you are tagged, JUST DO IT, and pass the tag along.

Six Random thing about me:
1. I have to put lotion on my hands every time I fold laundry. Otherwise, I hate the way the static in the clothes feels on my hands.
2. I can't seem to get through a movie anymore. I can strain my eyes to watch one episode after another online for Lost, or CSI, or Heroes , but movies has lost my attention. If I do watch it, is is nearly always in two segments.
3. I am trying to grow my hair down past my back. I'm half way there.
4. I sometimes hate that my brain thinks too much. Sometimes it wears even me out, but there is no off button.
5. I'm achin' to make some apple cider in my crockpot soon. I found some cinnamon sticks in my spice cabinet and will be putting it on my next grocery list to get apple juice and lemons.
6. I have never completely fit in to one group anywhere in my life. I always manage to find a faithful handful of friends. Wow, that's pensive. I'm all deep now.

If your a blogging buddy...tag, you it.:)


Well, gotta run and make another batch of those trail mix cookies before the kids get home from school. They ate them all yesterday! Good thing they are healthy.