Do you ever walk out on a cool evening just to catch a breathtaking sunset? Do you ever go and stand by the roar of the ocean and feel your soul just stretching out over the water to touch somehow the beauty your eyes take in? Do you ever look at a new life and just drink in the awe of brand new creation? All these things are glimpses of the glory of God and they make our souls absolutely soar with delight in something way bigger than we are. We were created to long for beauty beyond ourselves, the beauty of the glory of God. More in a minute. ************************************ I love the second chapter of Acts. I love the amazing timing of God to bring the Holy Spirit at a time when so many men and women from so many nations would be gathered in one place to come to the knowledge of the gospel of God himself. I love that the fact that the Holy Spirit allowed the apostles to speak in all the languages that were represented there despite the fact that they had never heard perhaps a word of it themselves, let alone been trained in speaking it. I love that it encourages me when I want to share the gospel with someone and just feel like I just don't "speak their language" seeing that we are so different perhaps, that the Spirit is given me just as it was to the Apostles and I don't have to worry about the details that God can handle.
I love that it reviews the fulfilled prophecy about the coming of the Spirit as well as the resurrection of Christ. It declares forth the validity of them both...rock solid.
I love that it includes the second most important event in church history (the first being the coming of the Spirit) being Peter's sermon which leads to the 3,000 converts all from those many many places ready now to go back, in perfect timing, to their own lands to declare and start the spread of the good news of salvation from sin.
Still, my favorite part comes at the very end. Just as any other thing right from the hand of God without the help of man, this picture is a lovely display of the power of the Spirit to accomplish the glory of God: "Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and ppossessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved."
Does that not make your heart soar!? Just like the other "awe" inspiring things I mentioned above. These people were experiencing a glimpse of eternity. They were filled with joy and selflessness toward each other even to the point that they felt they had all things in common. Now, as with any group of humanity, they of course did not have ALL things in common, yet they had all that really mattered in this life in common, and temporal things in ownership to Christ and therefore held it to each other with open hand. Wow, the unity of that, and what a different picture than the world around us going for what each man can get for himself and the building up of his own importance and confidence. They were sharing the joy of food together in a wonderful fellowship. Not hording their own food for their own families (as they actually had very little and could have been perhaps justified to do so in the sense of it being more "smart" perhaps) but making sure all were provided for and met in their needs. *****************************************
It's obvious that in our world, every man longs for peace. He longs for the world to become a better place and for us all to just work together for the greater good. Though this desire is misguided through the fall and sin has twisted it into goal for blowing up our own vanities and the vanity of mankind itself (therefore positively effecting us as well), it comes from a desire given to us by God. Yet, our peace is found in LETTING GO of everything that would build us up and giving it in open hand to where God would use it for His purposes. It was such a beautiful picture of everything humanity is NOT on his own, that it drew in more and more unbelieving people. They were in awe of this unity. I wonder if the church today is as beautiful to those who look upon us. It should be. It should be amazing what Christians do for others because of the love they have for Christ. They should feel that we would just as earnestly give what we had for a need they had as well. It is undeniable beauty and not something that we could just conjure up. Just like the sunset or the waves of the sea, it is awesome and God revealing. It makes us long to be a part of it because it is bigger than the self-seeking beings that we are.
I had a hard time absorbing Easter this year. I felt myself making a concerted effort to stop and reflect on the death of my Lord and the significance of His resurrecting from the dead. The two biggest events in human history followed up by even the prior birth of Christ, one would think would move me each time beyond measure. Yet, sometimes it doesn't. Ooooh, that makes me sound like such a bad Christian does it not?!
The fact is, the crucificiton and the resurrection are events in history that I utterly believe in but that are far away from my own every day reality. That is just the truth of it. Only by the impression on my heart from God's Holy Spirit are my eyes even open to receive and believe those truths. Though they are massive, earth shattering, and eternally life changing to me, they are emotionally and practically a long way away from my every day and I feel I have to work my brain to travel back to what I even have knowledge of regarding their existence.
So, this morning I was greatly impressed and encouraged by an event no less significant that allows the "rubber" of the Easter story to hit the "road" of my life.
Most of you know that Passover is before Easter. That the last supper took place at Passover. That passover is a remembrance of when God rescued the Israel nation out of slavery and brought them into the promised land. It was a time to put the blood of a lamb on the door post so the angel of death would passover the home of those who put their faith in God. You also know that this was indeed a foreshadowing of the coming of Christ to be the Lamb of God, shed his blood, that though faith would allow the freedom from slavery to sin as well as salvation from eternal death.
Jesus was crucified after the passover meal and rose from the dead three days later. Of course his resurrection and it's significance trumps any other before or after existing belief regarding the salvation of humanity. It fulfills all prophecy to the "T", and it allows and points to the possibility of our own certain resurrection in bodily form before the creation of the New Earth as we are told in Revelation.
When Jesus rose from the dead he appeared to the disciples and ate meals with them to prove he was not just spirit but risen body as well. He remained with them for 40 days teaching them about the Kingdom of God.
All great events, all foundational and life changing for me of course. However, nothing I have participated in myself or been able to witness to where my memory is forever branded with experiential absorption of truth. What is experienced in my life happened 50 days after that Passover.
It's called the Feast of Weeks and is also known as "Pentecost" (meaning "fiftieth") celebrated 50 days after Passover in May/June (Lv 23:15-22). For years, and years, and years, the people of Israel came to Jerusalem to celebrate this important event.
It's astounding to me how consistent God is. I'm so thankful for that. How important absolutely perfect timing is to him as well. He is precise, concise, and affirmative. He used the events of Jesus to coincide and tie up all loose ends of the rituals of the Old Testament and make them complete and fulfilled. Wow. For it was at this exact time that the events of Acts chapter 1 take place. The promise given by Jesus (vs.8) to send the helper, the comforter, the source of power, the very spirit of Himself would come to pass at this time. It was called the Pentecost. During the former feast at Pentecost, the firstfruits were offered and the image is paralleled and fulfilled as the Holy Spirit came and brought the firstfruits of the gospel of Jesus the Christ through the salvation of the first Christians that day.
The amazing thing is that this is something I am a part of. It was the beginning, but I get to be part of the story. The apostles had to wait for this special event but all after are given the Holy Spirit at salvation. That means that the power that motivated Christ to obey the will of God even unto death, now dwells in me. It means that the comfort he gave out to others in his human life, is given to me, just as if his very hands were laid upon me. It means that his Spirit to fulfill the will of God on earth is moving and working even now on this earth and through His great grace, it is moving through my very life and circumstances. It means that my life can be decided in every detail by God's direction. There are no more chances, guesses or good luck/bad luck outcomes. Notice that even the last decision made by the disciples before the Holy Spirit came was made by the casting of lots. They cast lots between whether Matthias or Barabbas (or Justus) should be the disciple to replace Judas. They trusted God to decide through this practical process proven by their prayer in verse 24. It was an OT way of determining the will of God. That was about to change. God was about to become even more intimate than just saving our souls. He was going to hand us the very spirit of His son to navigate our steps till we reach the end. If we belong to Him and prayerfully decide what to do in life, He will lead us in the will of God. That is an amazing thing if you really think about it.
In summary, it's kind of a "that was then, this is now" story. Try as we might to muster up emotions and significant responses to the events of Christ's cross and resurrection, we waver and we fail. We come and we go. We are unpredictable and unsteady. We are distant from the event itself and unable to grasp it's importance fully.
Then God gave his intimate solution to the problem he knew all to well that we had. Wanting to help us, love us, and guide us through, he unleashed the Holy Spirit of his beloved Son into our very lives so that He can navigate and keep faithfully that which has been in trusted to His care. We are not powerful. We are not comforted. We are not wise. We are not fulfilled and focused. Yet the event of the Pentecost, 50 days from Passover, and up and coming on your calendar, is the phase two in the Easter Story. It is the hand to be held, the motivation to be used, the peace to be permeated, the direction to be led, and the companion so treasured along the rest of a journey for the Glory of God. For Him, to Him, and by Him, making us complete in Christ.
So, whatever you do....don't stop celebrating if you believe, because this is where YOU come in to the story itself!
There is certainly nothing wrong with that. The right verse at the right time has been a great encouragement to many. But I've been pondering the problem with a pattern of feeding on the word this way. It's like spiritually starving yourself on a few peanuts you carry around in your pocket. After a while your malnourishment catches up with you.
I also apply this analogy to when scripture is "carried" around and quoted for use by the person needing that one biblical quote that makes valid their point in conversation. It can just be thrown out there as emphasis but rarely is it studied for context or meaning. Many times I have been swayed into an idea by someone I respected doing this to me. I did not know the word enough myself to discern their proper usage of it.
As I'm in this new and different mode in my life right now that I spoke of before, I feel the need to purge my impressions and influences down to (1) what God's word itself says and (2) who God wants me as the individual he made, to be. Therefore I'm growing weary and shockingly considering ridding myself of books related to conduct rather than concept study.
For instance, I have long been a fan of Elizabeth George books ("A Woman after God's own Heart" books). Many of the things she has to say are good but they are all on the definitions of conduct for a godly woman. I use to go more to these to find out what I was supposed to be. They have some great example to offer but they really are just another version of looking to others to see what defines a godly woman instead of intimately seeking the Lord through study of His word, for Him to show me the conduct of THIS godly woman (or aspiring one anyway:). I remember one example in particular where Elizabeth George mentions that a woman ought to keep the house so well, and wipe the surfaces of everything before heading out the door each time in order for herself and her family to always come home to a clean house. It sounded great and godly at the time, but really? Is that really what defines godliness? Or is it just the expressed preference of one christian lady writer and a reflection of her own personality. Is the woman who is not so tidy not as godly of a woman and not a "woman after God's own heart?". Hmmm.
Please don't think I'm nitpicking...there are many good things to be gleaned out there in the world of Christian women's books. I'm just feeling the need to get right to the source more. I have found that my understanding is not as great when a women's book tells me "now turn to this scripture here, and that one there" after trying to back up a concept on womanly conduct that she has presented. THIS IS NOT BAD, and I'm not saying it is. I'm looking for better. I'm looking for 100% pure, with no flavors added.
So, I have greatly enjoyed the inductive study method through the tools of Kay Arthur's Precept Study Guides. (You can find out more about this at the Precept Ministries Site) These along and many times buddied up with the wonderful teaching of our Pastor, who goes through large sections, usually books, of scripture at a time, have changed my understanding and comprehension of scripture so much more. For instance my Pastor is in the book of Acts right now so I am using the Precept Study Guide for Acts. God is always faithful to fine tune my understanding of the conduct of my life every time I go straight to his word. It's just starting to feel like getting to the point instead of beating around the bush and having to filter out how one person prefers to do certain things and label them "godly" or "ungodly".
What I do appreciate in Christian writing more and more are books that are conceptual. Those concepts or topics on understanding aspects of scripture or God himself. John Piper, Jerry Bridges, Randy Alcorn, and John MacArthur are just some of the tip top favorite examples. These men have been pouring themselves over God's word in the inductive study methods for sure, for many years. God has opened their hearts with passions for different topics and enlightened their understanding and desire to share. Those are the books I feel I'm not wasting my time on.
So the bottom line is that as I'm asking myself "Lord, who do you want me to be?" it is only one of many questions my heart asks. The others are "Lord, who are you?" or "Lord what does it mean to suffer in life when we know you? or "Lord, what exactly is your plan for humanity?"...and many others. The first question I'm finding is better answered going right to God's word and letting him intimately show me. Who he wants me to be cannot be found in the hundreds of women's books on what a woman should be. Yes, I could read them all and I could probably put together a picture that's true but that would be after I spent hours sifting out what was NOT me and what was or what was scripture and what was preference or personality. Scripture is living and breathing and equip for all teaching and conduct. Why not go right to the source?
Scripture is more than a verse in my pocket when I need it or more than a tool for one person to validate their way of doing things. It is an intimate understanding and connection to God who desires to show us personally where and how and why we should walk. To do that I need to learn in a conceptional and inductive way. Once I've done that, then I can carry that verse in my pocket knowing from whence it came and what it means in context to the whole. It's the bigger picture that will gain my understanding, convict my heart, and light the path for my next step ahead.
It's quite a relief that God all ready knows who I'm supposed to be in him and just waiting for me to come to Him so that he may show me. I don't have to try on a bunch of other personalities for size only to find them uncomfortable and stifling.
I've been hanging out at the school a lot today. Princess has a noon Easter picnic I'm here for and I decided to give myself a "day off" of sorts and enjoy the Internet in the computer lab for a while. I REALLY look forward to getting my computer back. I was just reading Money Saving Mom and thinking "ahhhh, I really need this resource!" While there I found a great new blog I want to check out more when I DO get my computer again. It's called The Prudent Homemaker. I like that she tries to live off of what she has more and that her recipes are categorized as well by seasons of the year. I hope to do that more in the future.
However, skipping over to her blog just sent me off an emotional cliff of sorts from building thoughts the last few days.
I've been tired since coming back from the science camp with Princess. It was so fun but I was only away from the cabin of six girls for 45 minutes each day and the second day my 45 minutes were spent coloring the props for their little skit they all get to put on while there. So, I was quite tired.
I arrive home wanting so badly to pick up my projects for spring but having NO energy and somewhat of a head cold. I start feeling this mounting pressure in my mind of all the really great things I want to do. Here are some of mine:
Finish staining the fence
Hoe up the garden
Expand the garden by digging up more ground
Sand the play structure and stain it too
Sand the deck and stain it (replace the two bad boards)
Have the girls plant their personal gardens in the half barrels
Build the steps off the back of the deck
Move the stepping stones to where they now need to be
Put boarders on the grass
Dig up the yard the dog destroyed and re-seed it
Level out under the play structure and prepare it for pebbles or sand
Oh, I won't go on and bore you!
Those are just my outdoor things.
Before I left I spent a week doing outdoor things. The result? My yard looked better, my house looked worse. I was bad about dinner making and exhausted by eight.
Lately I have been feeling the days are shorter and shorter and shorter. How DO some people do so much and categorically document their doings as well? How DO some women cook from scratch, nurse a baby, plant a garden, school their children, sew their clothes and whatever else superhero mom stuff they decide to do? I love gleaning from their ideas but really, HOW?
The Lord speaks to my heart by this time and that is really what I wanted to share. I recall this little song I learned as a kid and I don't know what it is or where it's from but this is the part he brings to mind:
"we all have different talents,
we all have different gifts,
we all were fashioned out to fill
a special little niche" (at least that's how I remember it:)
I remember that the only solution to life is to let the Lord lead you from one thing to the other. It all comes back to simplicity. Asking what He wants of me today. There are so many great things I want to do, learn, accomplish, experience and so on, but there are very few things he has in the day for me to do. That is the reality of it.
I truly believe that this feeling is part of the curse of our stunted lifetimes. I believe we were given a drive born out of the creator himself to do, create, accomplish and experience an eternity of things. All of these involve his creation, ourselves and each other. We are SUPPOSED to want to do so much. Yet, the reality of it is that here on earth, we just won't be able to. Again, I look forward to that in eternity. This is why reaing Randy Alcorn's book changed my life. Somehow I grew up in a Christian home not really understanding what eternity and heaven would really be. When we remember that, we can let so much go and be more focused on God's mission for our alien journey here. I have long since wanted to put a cute sign on my home that says "This is a tent, it's not my home". We are only passing through and with limited resources of many kinds. Our brains cannot learn enough, our money cannot buy enough, our time cannot produce enough. The greatest gift is learning to be okay with that I think. The greatest joy is finding what God has in the midst of it that IS for us, each and every one. Because when it's something GOD has for us here on this earth, we WILL have the knowledge (from Him), we WILL have the strength (from Him), we will have the funds (from Him), and we will have all that we need according to HIS riches and HIS glory.
So, if you are feeling like I have been the last few days and you just feel like you don't have enough or do enough, remember with me to ask for your portion and know that's it's enough because it's from Him who gives fully and who holds more for you down the road.
Where will God lead you? Where will he send? Will you be willing or will you defend- The way that things are as you think they should be, Will you be willing? Will you be free? Should he stir you to move in a place on you own, Or call you to stretch in a way you've not grown, Is there something you've said you won't ever do, If he asks, will you joyfully do that thing too? What are you keeping? What do you hoard? What is it you think you cannot afford? To loose it, to give it- where do you stress? What should you hand over, or maybe confess? Have you looked out at water you say you can't walk? Are you willing to take back and swallow your talk? That stated "I'll never", "I couldn't"- "not me", Will you do it for Him who can make you free? Free just to trust and gladly be led- Free just to be in His hand and be fed- Free to delight in HIS perfect plan- Free to shrink smaller the opinion of man- Free to stretch out and see where it leads,- Free to adventure and plant many seeds- Free to find out what faith can procure, When you thought you're plans were ever so sure.
Written just now. Why? Because I came home from picking up the kids from school with an amazing swelling in my heart. Something so huge was revealed to me as to one of the many, many reasons I was called into the public schools. I cannot tell you the details. Just praise God for me and pray for more grace to give out and wisdom in the future. I think of Louie Giglio's words in his DVD "Indescribable" "He does not think like us, He does not have a brain like ours. He is working on a canvas bigger than we can ever think or imagine!" I saw the hand of God today and it told me "for such a time as this, you are here". I have had other great confirmations in the past few months. This was a big one. I was honored to be there for my Jesus at the moment I was. I am blessed. I want to bless more. I want to give like I have nothing to loose. I want to live like I'm not afraid. Those are some restated lines in one of the Chris Tomlin's song "The way I was made" I think it's called. I was so scared to take this adventure. Now I wonder what He has next for me. The poem is written to myself. I want to let go of my small thinking and let Him fill it with His great plan. I want to learn to stop saying "I will never do...." or anything like it. I think instead I should ask more and more "What cha got for me today God!? I'm willing." Other conclusion from today: People are God's treasure. He is intent on their journey. He is moving and working. Sometimes there is pain. There is also great joy in it when His hand is there too. He longs to bring those he can to the aid of those in need. People are his eternal mission. They should be mine too. Always.
For some reason I was pondering free will. Am I the only one who just starts thinking about these things? Anyway.. I have been really enjoying the music of Chris Tomlin (as my playlist surely indicates) since being introduced to the Louie Giglio DVD messages . I was pondering the joy I have when God grants me a little growth in my understanding of how big he is, and how intimate at the same time. While pondering this it made me wonder why God did not just reveal himself to mankind. Whey does he use the written word, the bible, and the past revelations written down as well but spoken long ago by the prophets. In essence, why does he not just speak down audibly to mankind and say "HEY! I'm here! I made you and I do care for you!" I mean really, would that not just make is so much easier? Then there would not be anyone doubting the existence of God or any of those sayings like "well, I'll believe it when I see it. " I know what you may be thinking...cause my brain does the same thing. "Well, he did it this way to grow our faith in the unseen" or "It brought Him more glory by doing it this way". Or something else I'd love to hear if you want to share. Yet I then began to realize why God could not revel himself this way. I think it has to do with free will. I started to imagine if the heavens opened up and God spoke to us and the result would be one thing..sheer terror. I think God knows there is something in us as his creation that would have no choice but to respond to him if he approached us directly. Even our thoughts on God as believers is proof of this. As Louie was talking about in one of his presentations, we go about our day and begin to forget about God and make Him small just by that alone. We make him small and make us big. (how wrong we are!) Imagine if we struggle to absorb his greatness as those who believe, how small or non-existent those who do not believe must see him! At the cost of loosing himself in our eyes, the great breather of the heavens, keeps himself from us directly for the sake of our free will. Only by his revelation through the words inspired by him and written by men or inspired by him and spoken by men, or the birth and Death of Christ (which was in essence the closest we have ever gotten as humanity to God himself and yet he had to lower himself entirely to be revealed...interesting side note), have we heard from God. This along with the mystery of election and the work of the Holy Spirit working in our hearts is what draw us to Him. If he opened the heavens and spoke to mankind, we would all fall on our knees and worship. We would have no choice. It would be the response of the created to the creator. He wants us to want him. Why? Because that brings him more joy and he exists (as Piper so keenly reiterates) to embellish his own happiness. Let us remember that this is not a selfish thing as it would be with men, but the very existence of who he is by nature and we only benefit by him seeking his own happiness because we are part of his happiness. Can you wrap your head around that? I love working on that one..it brings me such joy when it use to frustrate me until I started to understand. Do any of us build a robotic husband programed to love us at every turn? No! Why? Because we want to be loved by the will of another, or loved by choice so to speak. By the decisions to want to rather than a programing to do so. To allow us to want Him reveals our realization of his greatness and partnered with the nurturing of the Holy Spirt is a harmony of loving glory. Every man on the earth would acknowledge the greatness of God if he revealed himself directly. He knows we could not do otherwise. He prefers to win our hearts. Does that sound like a tyrannical God to you? And yet, he does not need it from us either but wants it. What a romantic! What an emotional side of Him. He is looking for depth from us, a seeking and desiring of him. He knows he could have each of us in an instant, devoted and obedient, and yet he restrains himself longing more for the few who hear his gentle voice. Wow.
Yet, he also says that he will not restrain himself forever. Once he does though, it will be to late for those who have not chosen to hear him. "at the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth," Phill 2:10
But to have heard and trusted in him, there will be no sweeter moment in our existence. The old things shall have passed away and behold, new things have come! Can't wait.
So, now on to my other question of God. Remember that I have these with no doubt but complete trust...I just look forward to finding the answers to them!:) If God is only full of righteousness, as He is, then how can he have created even the possibility of evil? Nothing exists outside of Him, so where did evil come from? Even if the devil is, as we know from the word, a former angel who wanted equality with God and therefore was cast out of heaven with his angels, where did evil itself get it's start so that it could be manifested this way? It makes me think of Lewis and his allegorical use of the term "deep magic". See, I know there is an answer, and I know that God knows I cannot handle it right now, but it's great fun to stretch my spiritual thoughts anyway. I think he delights when we do as long as we are not using them as empty human arguments against Him which is the greatest foolishness we come up with. His thoughts are not our thoughts so I just have to wait for His explanation of some things.
We are so in awe of the remberance of the baby in a manger these days. We should be. However, we zero in and we tend to forget who this baby was. I have seen few things as amazing as this footage from Louie Giglio. Take the time to watch it all even if you come back to do so bit by bit. Share it with your neighbors and your kids. Be in Awe of the babe, but make sure you know who HE IS!
(there is a min of music at the begining of Part 1 but this is NOT a music video) It builds as it goes btw.
Perhaps it's the fact that he is my last "baby" (though as those of you who know us know, he has not looked like a baby for a long, long time) but sometimes I hang on every little cute squeaky thing he says. Especially at prayer time. Lately he has been going through these long lists of "thank you"'s each time he prays. At first a few weeks ago I thought, how cute, and then the Lord used it to encourage me at this tough time of year. Here were some of the ones I remember as usuals: "Thank you for our earth- Thank you for my toys- Thank you for my mommy and daddy- Thank you for my kittens- Thank you for my friends- Thank you for our school- Thank you for Mrs. E....- Thank you for our world (he switches from earth to world sometimes)- Thank you for dying on the cross- Thank you for my sisters (I'm holding him to that one:)- Thank you for mommy's dinners (that's my boy!)- Thank you for our house-
There are lots more, and I keep thinking I need to write them down. He comes up with so much!
Then I got to thinking, what am I thankful for? God's faithfulness and truth. A husband who is so determined from his heart to love me and the kids. Children who are so interesting and different. (God's holding me to that one:) Children who are eager to learn of God. Friends who are so caring and steady. The amazing chances we have had to meet lots of people lately and start building relationships to share God's love in any way we can. For such a quaint small town to do that in. For the fact that my kids all have great teachers. For need. I'm thankful for need. It helps me rely on God. I'm thankful He has placed a great desire for Himself in me that is greater than all other forces and deceptions in my life. I'm thankful for health. I'm thankful for my mom and God's faithfulness to her this past year. For the promises of God, mainly eternity and the awesome prospect of living in His goodness every moment.
What are you thankful for? What theme of gratitude is on your heart this year?
I've been thinking a lot about this. You know how sometimes concepts gather in the bucket of your brain one little drop at a time? Well, this one has been dripping for months and I'm thinking' it's getting near the top and wanting to be poured out.
Perspective is such a powerful thing. Now, you may think I'm referring to the perspective of looking though the eyes of faith and having joy in circumstances of life and all that, but I'm not, although that is a great topic for any blog. No, I'm actually talking of physical and psychological perspective. It's random...let me see if I can just get going and well see where I end up together. Part One:
First I've been pondering on the great perspective of God. Picture yourself standing in a field. Slowly, you lift up into the sky and see not only the field but the lands about you as they slowly form into lots and properties divided by fences or roads. Further on the borders smudge into patters of green and brown, maybe some lakes appear but it all starts to be sections of color hue instead of defined human dwellings. Even further (perhaps you feel like you're on a mental google earth trip:) and huge bodies of blue appear. The brown and greens gather into smaller masses that become visible as continents. Now weather patterns appear and smudge out major sections of the land. Further back the prominent colors of white and blue appear and the definitions of the earth's sphere grow smaller as you fade away. Now it is beginning to change shape as only the sunlit side of earth remains visible and the rest fades into darkness. Speeding up now you whisk past stars and moons until the earth is just a lit spot in the distance. You can guess the progression until you are staring at the massive Milky Way galaxy. God can go even further back than we can define. So, this is where I'll stop.
The more amazing part is this:
From that outer perspective you know the workings and makings of all matter. You saw it on the day it was born and know the very patterns and common sense (at least in your mind) of it's makings. Beautiful clock work. You know the names of all the stars and celestial gatherings and bodies. Now you focus your attention back to earth. You begin to zero back in.
The view is of course just a rewinded order of the view from when you left. But now, as you zero in, you see all the men of earth. Like grasshoppers covering the earth. Is. 40:22 "It is He who sits above the circle of the earth,And its inhabitants are like grasshoppers,Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain And spreads them out like a tent to dwell in."
Further in you hover over a large city like Los Angeles. The bug analogy works so well as there is so much coming and going. Masses of humanity moving too and fro all wrapped up in their own business. Amid the buildings you see a concrete slab with skittering movement back and forth. It's a group of boys playing basket ball. Your eyes meet one. We come closer and know the exact number of hairs on his head. (Matt 10:30). You hear his thoughts and are aware of the very functions of his brain. Every synaptic moment you oversee. You see inside the core of his being and know the very workings of his inner organs. Every time his heart pumps you hear the sound. You know where he is healthy and where his body weakens. You see when his blood count drops and when outside threats make their way in. You know exactly what he had for lunch and how his body is breaking it down and using it for energy. More than this, you know his every thought and motivation. You have heard every one and taken note of it. In fact you were there when he was born and greater still, when he was conceived. You knew in that moment exactly what characteristics he would have in both personality and appearance. You heard his first thought before anyone knew he was having them, and even he does not know what they were. You know every path his life has taken and every one it will take from that moment on. You know what day his body will stop working. You are just as intimately involved with his death as you were his life beginning. You know all this and as you back out again from the scene, you know the same amazing and intimate detail of each one of those boys there. Even if man were to hear thoughts, he could hardly handle the scattering thoughts of ten men. Yet, you can hear each one and comprehend it, and furthermore you knew what it was going to be before they conceived it. Greater still your perspective becomes as you take in the details of humanity in the whole city. Thoughts, intent (Psalm 94:11) pulsing veins, good and bad health, pregnancy unknown still, cancer unseen, love attracting, anger dividing, deception and good deeds, trusting you and shunning you, believing and blinded, working and resting, eating and starving, joyful and anxious....you see it all. Not only this, but zooming out, you see all who walk upon the earth with such intimate detail. Each one you created with care and saw in the warmth of the womb. You alone heard the first beat of their heart. (Psalm 139:13) Man could never be so acquainted with himself, let alone another in this way and yet you are so intimate with all of humanity. So great is your love and care for man that you went to your greatest pain to save those who would let you save them. You who are so acquainted and understanding of these "grasshoppers" along the surface of the earth, are just as acquainted with the working details of the universe. You do not have to move focus from one detail to another as man does and therefore not attend to all at once. No, not only can you know like no other through your perspective, you can know all instantaneously. YET! Neither are you bound by the boundaries of time as man is! You can see all that is and attend to it in every detail in the same moment you see all that was from the dawn of time as it is known, till the end of it.
____________________________________________________________________ Because I am unlike God, my perspective is small. I make the habit of thinking His is too, even without realizing it. Just by existing in the way I do. Even my pondering and writing about it, as I have, does not even comparable to the reality of the greatness of God. Still, I want to stretch my brain constantly out of it's "grasshopper" mentality to remember that my perspective is modest at it's greatest moment. More on this later. Part two is my thoughts on the complexity of man's perspectives. In conclusion:
If we could understand remotely the hand we fall into when we submit to the sovereignty of God's perspective, we would ache for the joy of doing it again, and again.
I'm coming by to check in a little and then check back out. Unfortunately I don't have time lately to even share lots of fun stuff and some thoughts about this week.
I've been all over the board emotionally this week. Pensive would be the big one about my country. Totally joyful in trusting God and excited that I'm SURE He is stirring us up to "such a time as this". I can almost feel the wind begin to blow harder. I'm excited about that as the wind started blowing in my own life over two years ago and the stirring of the Holy Spirit in my soul has changed me forever. I look forward to further stirring, further banishing of fear, and further passion to be salt in a culture that is in decay. I look forward to seeing this happen to many move believers as their lives are challenged. I look forward to seeing us not hide and wait for the coming of the Lord, but be engaged AMONG the pagans as it says in Peter. I've been encouraged reading first and second Peter. 2 Peter 2 is telling of the times. I was listening to Focus on The Family the day before election day as I painted the girls room. It was sobering and excellent. Here is the link. It was called "For Such a Time As This".
I've been thinking about the fact that world is building up to truly be hostile toward followers of Christ. Even here in our safe little America. A man has brought many people together of all races, age, income and everyone is excited about that and gathering in mobs to cheer it. There is only one group of people not welcome there in that great mass of "all accepting" individuals and that is us, those who believe the Word of God tells us right from wrong. Those of us who still cringe in our hearts to know this man supports an aborted infant should lay and die after surviving the failed attempt of the abortion process. We live in a world where we call things other than what they are in order to become more comfortable with them. Those who raise their heads and say "it's actually this" will be the unwelcome ones. I fear that that unwelcome spirit will be the birth place for an end time hostility toward Christ followers. I wonder what world my children will be in. I keep thinking "come quickly Lord Jesus" and then I read in 2 Peter that his wait is his own amazing patience that more should come to the truth and his love before he slams his fist down and says "that's it! Enough!". If he can be patient for those he still aches to draw to himself, then I can too and I will get out there to aid Him in reaching them. I have never been more confirmed that I AM to be in the Public School. I hope more Christians return to that mission field. I am excited to walk along this challenging path with my children as be face the culture, engage in it, and discern our way through it with the powerful Word of God. I have been thinking that much of this turn in our culture is a result of our lack, my lack, of passion to put salt in the rot of society. We have been guilty of keeping the salt in the shaker and the light under baskets. I have been guilty. No mater what arena God has us in, we need to bee reaching out and speaking truth like we have nothing to loose and all to gain. Each of us has this little sphere around us, this perimeter of sorts that we ARE capable of obeying God by shining and salting. Are we? I think what is happening in our culture is a sign that we are not. I think it is a sign that Christians are more crippled by fear than anything else, and more faithful in formulas than the power of God. I believe the Holy Spirit is preparing to awaken our souls in perhaps a painful way...by stripping away our false securities. That is when we see what we really hope in, where we are really headed, and what we are really supposed to be doing here. I say bring it on, we need it. I need it. If any verse has become mine from the Lord in the last year it is this: "For He has not given us a spirit of fear but of POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND." I have always had that memorized since childhood to where it began to loose meaning. I have began to understand what it really means and how it really changes my life. The opposite of these qualities of the spirit are FEAR, SELFISHNESS (all forms of self seeking including hiding in comfort zones), AND FRANTIC/ANXIOUS THINKING (worry, distrust of sovereignty , twisted belief of truth etc.).
On my mind also has been a lesson from the Lord to be careful to mind my own business unless I am sharing Him (as apposed to my opinion more so:). I am trying to turn this weeks emotions of wanting to change the world and what has happened to it, to focusing on what I need to do in my own family to just take care of my own. I have been both shocked, and disillusioned for moments at the fact that some christian people I know of, or grew up with, voted for a man who is so blatantly against the very teaching of the Word of God (let alone a bad political choice). That has really slowed down my step a few times. The Lord has reminded me to carry on with the joy and peace of my own walk with Him, and my own business..my family, my husband , my children. I guess it's been a reminder that all the rest (and even all of my own stuff) is in God's hands and not mine. Shocker...eh?:)
I have pondered the life span of this blog lately. What kind of world will it be to blog in? Where there be future concerns for blaring my beliefs across cyberspace? Will it someday put my family in harms way? Does anybody really want to hear it all anyway? I guess I've been tempted to disillusionment on that level as well. I think being too busy to blog has added to it. I think I'm in a burn out mode on the blog for many different reasons.
On the home front we gave my dad's old big oak desk to some friends. That was hard emotionally but good to size down. I was glad it went to my friend so I can visit it now and then. I have so many memories of him sitting at it doing bills. It's a moose though and we are trying to simplify. That along with working on the girls room has cause some moving of furniture and all kinds of stuff is everywhere. AH! So, that is the reason I'm coming and going again. This whole next week will be full of putting things right again. The kids also have four days off! So, that will be fun.
Today Lilo got an amazing award. I'll have pics later. She was chosen as the student of the quarter by her teacher. I made sure to keep it a surprise and since I was in her class today anyway, she did not wonder why I was there. I have a pic to share later. I'm so proud of her. She has been doing so well. They all have. I had my parent teacher meetings this week and all three kids are at the top of their class. Princess is making all A+'s! She does not know it yet, but her teacher told me today that SHE has been chosen the student of the quarter for her class and will be getting her award next Friday. So, I guess she can't read my blog this week:). Amazingly too, Lilo's reading level has jumped from end of second grade to fifth grade level! Oh, my goodness. All that girl needed was a confidence boost and some time in her own element out of the shadow of her sister and she has taken off. Superkid is writing small sentences and reading readers now. When I met with Princess teacher she told me how helpful and attentive Princess is and that it's kids like her that make her want to come in and teach the next day. That was a blessing from the Lord. I give Him the glory that hey are doing so well and blessing those around them. I was in second grade all day today except with lunch with Princess (I'm excited she WANTS to have lunch with me still) and it was, as always, fun to talk to the kids, help grade their papers and help them with ones they got wrong, and rip out pages so the teacher can have them ready to go later. I have so much joy is serving and connecting with the teachers and kids. Every time I'm there I'm impressed with how precious all those children are to the Lord and how much he wants to reach them. Tomorrow we go to a birthday party of a boy in Lilo's class. I don't know this family or the other mom's and families who will be there but this is what I'm talking about. This is something God is bringing into my perimeter, and I'm starting to keep my opportunity eyes open. I am thankful that I get the chance to be among more unsaved who need him, who need hope. The connection of school becomes a catalyst for other opportunities to turn that shaker upside down and start sprinkling the salt. It's done one opportunity at at time, and one person at a time, and I'm learning more and more that building the relationships is the most important because they are the foundation for ministry. Just like missionaries live for years and years AMONG the people to build those foundations with them a they slowly share the good news. It shows them you are not just selling a bill of goods, or trying to convince them of something you think is right, or wanting to check them off your door to door list. You are invested, you are engaged with a concern for their soul and the life they live here and now. How many there are who are AMONG the people of other countries, how few their are who are AMONG the lost of our own culture and times.
What are we afraid of?
I looked at those people cheering on Chicago's "front lawn" and I felt we had abandoned them to their deceptions. We have gone and built our homes away, put up our walls, and hoped for protection from the world until Christ comes. We hope to stay safe and keep safe what is "ours". We have failed do surrender and sacrifice with our faith in God for our "own" (which is not really our own, but His) and we have left them to themselves. I wonder if God is frustrated with us. What started out as a righteous movement to bring our children up right, has become a wall between us and those we are called to reach. If we are called to be home only, we should have a passion to bring them in. But I wonder if many of us are missing a calling to go out. I wonder if God may even use legislation in the future to get Christians back into the trenches of the culture they are so afraid of. The culture they are born in and called to engage. I hope it does not come to that but I wonder if God will use it since we are not going out on our own. I wonder if he will allow many challenges to us to force us to engage the culture. I wonder if he is saddened by our apathy for the decay and deception around us. Do we not realize that without the showing of light, they will not even know they are in utter darkness? Who will show them? Will we leave them to themselves, their road to hell, while we walk our padded road to heaven?
Will we go out to save those of the world and abandon our own countrymen?
So we think we go out unarmed, and our children too? Do we not belive in the armor of God? Do we think it's weak? Do we think our methods stronger?
Can we not raise our own children in truth AND reach out to the many who need Christ as well. Think about it. If we guard our won, and raise them to guard their own, as they guard their own...how many lost will be reached? Are we to breed a kingdom for God, or go out to the ends of the earth and our very streets for those who are to be in the kingdom of God? If we teach them to lead, as we lead however, how many more will be reached?
These are just my thoughts. They are certainly my own ramblings. They are my concerns and it is becuase of the level of this stirring passion within me, and my humbling realization that God works in and through all in different ways, that I have become focused on MY mission. There is work to do. I hope to work. There is a harvest to be gleaned, I hope to glean. I hope to work and glean along side my children and to pray they are impassioned with the mission as well.
It is not my job to convince but to obey my God and his calling for me, and to encouraged those around me to do what his word says and "go" in the way they are called. I do hope to share my heart here.
This quote by Amy at "Amy Writes" was phenomenal to me:
"We, as a Church, seem to have a "Keep God in Schools," but "Keep Christian Kids Out of them," mentality."
The same could be said about the culture in general. We are in this culture, called to THIS time, and not another.
BE ENGAGED.....BE READY.....BE IN THE WORLD AND NOT OF IT.......BE FEARLESS......BE PASSIONATE FOR TRUTH....
BE CHRIST, FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS.
NO WAY! I just posted this link on my facebook status and this was the set of code words (usually random) given me to allow my link to be put up : "vigilant revival". No, way...too weird....
I was sitting with my husband last night out on our small front lawn. We go out there and sit when the kids want to play out front so that we have an eye on them. As I waited for him to bring out the decaf and join me, I stared at my neighbors decorations for Halloween. She had two headstones in her grass and a skeleton hanging by it's neck. The following is what processed through my brain at the time.
How delighted the enemy must be this time of year when man find entertainment in the subject of death. The one thing that the devil himself longs for for every man not knowing the salvation of the work of Christ. Once a man is dead, there is no second try, the enemy knows he has him. It is in his nature to delight and find glory in the death of humanity. To think that we give him this satisfaction is sobering to me. I think about Jesus words: "I came that they might have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." My precious savior came for everything working against death. Humans are his precious creation he finds worthy of shedding his own blood for. How he must grieve when we decorate our lives with the theme of death. To mock and jest at the subject of death seems to me a slap in the face of the creator who the devil all ready despises. Our flesh and bones are of no value to him but to be symbols of his triumph in the way or our eternal destinations. To our savior, our flesh and bones are reflections of the image of the Heavenly Father who we were created after. Any man may mock his own death, but he won't be mocking on the day he dies. He will be filled with fear and he will tremble. How is it that we taunt it without realization? To think that we join the enemy in laughter and jesting about the very triumph he has accomplished by putting death upon us. Our greatest problem of separation from God (spiritual death) and bodily death, are because of him and because of them we are cursed. Yet, we jest with Him at our very bondage. If only we knew what we were really doing. We would tremble now as well. I speak in "we" but of course I have trusted in the saving power of Jesus Christ and have been reconciled to God (spiritually alive) and will one day be in a body that will no longer be under the power of death. Yet, I hurt for the mind of men who are not yet reconciled and know not what they jest and entertain themselves with. It is essentially their own demise with which they amuse themselves, and the devil laughs. He is the one who glories in the death of men. I will not join him, ever. I shared this with my daughter on the way to school as we walked by skeleton heads that she thought were cool because they light up. "Anything that lights up is cool" I said. "But I will never cease to be disturbed by the glorification of death". She seemed to understand. It was a moment to share what was put on my heart the night before and I wanted to seize it.
Hmmmm. Some things make my stomach turn. This is one. Though I have been feeling nauseated today...maybe it's just making it worse. Still, I felt fine yesterday when I read this and in seconds my tummy did a 180*. I was reading my new issue of Answers in Genesis, which I LOVE. Get it ASAP!!!! No, I'm not getting paid to say that...but GET IT! It was just a little blip only three paragraphs long.
The God Problem
"If there's an all-powerful and loving God in this world, why is there so much excruciating pain and unspeakable suffering? This variation of an often asked question opens a new book entitled God's Problem. The author, who trained at a well-known Bible institute and then earned his doctorate in New Testament studies from Princeton, eventually rejected Christianity because that question seemed unanswerable. As he studied the nature of evil and God's existence, the writer drifted away from his evangelical upbringing and eventually became an agnostic because he found no satisfactory answer. Apparently, the author of God's Problem never took seriously Genesis's account of the origin of death and suffering."
(Taken from Answers in Genesis magazine Vol. 3, #4 (and it goes on a little)
I didn't have to read more about this man (you can learn more about him here),or his book to feel very, very sorry for him. It drove me to thinking and accumulating thoughts scattering here and there the last few weeks in my brain. Here is the scrapping in random form. Please excuse the jumbling.
1- God does not have problems, He is all righteous....we are the ones who have problems. Every single thing He does, did, will do fits together perfectly in the awesome pattern of his desire for His glory and we only benefit from taking part in that.
2- As Donna said in a post comment here, we will naturally disagree with God. I found it so profound, and I have been contemplating it's truth the last week.
Yesterday I was closing the door to my fridge to find the smiling face of my dad staring back at me. I keep his memorial service picture there. I was overwhelmed with remembering his quiet submissive response to God making clear it was time for him to die. The God who he loved for years, trusted, served and held onto for His very soul was telling him it was time to die. Did he agree with God? I can tell you, absolutely not. He wanted to stay. He wanted to see my kids, his grand babies, grow up. He wanted to be there for my mom and brother. You could see the struggle on his face. But people, it was not a struggle to believe, it was a struggle to accept. God did not expect my dad to agree with Him, expected him to submit and trust.
I should not be surprised that I disagree with God at times, just like I'm not surprised my daughter disagrees with me when I say she can't do an extra educating activity after school three nights a week because it takes away from our family. I do expect her to submit to me and trust me. I owe the same to God.
The fact that the fate of humanity involves suffering for now anyway, does not take away my faith in God. I don't agree that we should suffer, but I don't think God expects that of me.
3- The author says that the bible does not answer why we suffer. This is not true. The bible tels again and again that we suffer because of sin entering the world. As Answers in Genesis goes on to say:
"Genesis 3 explains that God cursed the world because of mankind's sin, beginning with Adam. But God's Word also reveals that HE had a higher purpose in mind. HE promised to send a Seed of Adam- God's own Son, Jesus Christ (BTW, aren't you glad it's almost Christmas!) who would one day 'conquer death' and remove the Curse."
4- God does not have a problem, Bart D. Ehrman has a problem with God. He disagrees with Him. God has ordained that man should suffer for a time (Indeed, he must since he is the complete author of all time and nothing happens that he has not allowed. We may not like this, but it does not make it false) This is the dark hue in the amazing painting of history. We don't like that it's black, but we also cannot see from heaven's perspective, how amazing the finished piece will be.
5-What is the other alternative? And this is where I feel truly sorry and deeply sad for this man. He has traded the truth for a lie and it will, in the end lead him into utter despair. Where is the triumph in proving that God does not exist by saying that God does not answer why we suffer?
Let me spew for a moment:
IF there is not God, and man suffers so, he is truly the saddest product of evolution or what ever other belief system there is. There is no future solution to his sin and suffering, no promise, no redemption, only despair. Why does man suffer if not for the reason that God allows it for a beautiful result in the end? Are we just plain miserable, in a miserable world, haunted by a miserable existence?
Let's take this a step further:
If there is not God, I declare my right to do exactly as I please. I declare my right to seek my own happiness and comfort at the expense to all. Perhaps that sounds shocking. Yet, who do I own anything to? Do I owe the world my being a good humanitarian? Why? It does me no good. Do I owe the earth my kindness? Why, I won't be here forever. Why should I seek anything besides my own peace and fulfillment? Because it's just the right thing to do? Says who? Says other people? Why should I do what they say? If there is no God, I don't have to be anything I don't want to. I am just existing in a sad and meaningless circle of despair. Even the very beauty of the world would begin to mean nothing to me because it would not save me from my meaninglessness because it does not stand for anything beyond itself. I would do what I want, when I wanted. I would not love one man, I would lust after many. I would not stay home and give of myself for my children, I would strike out and find a new thrill. Why not? There is no reason to be good, helpful, responsible, accountable, loving.....etc. There is only me.
I truly believe if it were not for God, my one life would be one shot at something satisfying because there would be no reason for otherwise.
People might say: "Well, you should do what you can for the future!" Why? Why should I care about the future of humanity? That has nothing to do with me!
People also say that all of creation is working toward a better tomorrow and a better species. If it's getting better, I'm not seeing it. Furthermore, if there is no God, I really should not have to care what anyone else thinks or does. ME would be all that mattered.
Why do people do unselfish good things outside of God then? One reason, it makes them feel good, and THAT is how it's still about THEM.
To reject God would be to reject my own happiness. They are one in the same. My happiness is wrapped up in His. To reject him would mean to loose that happiness in the eternal future, and to loose it hear in the temporal present. As the quote on my blog says:
"Aim at heaven, and you get earth thrown in. Aim at earth, and you get neither."
C.S. Lewis
Men reject God because they want to do what they want, to be the god of themselves. Little do they know that because they were not made by the creator to achieve happiness this way, they cut off their only link to true happiness. Even doing what they want their whole lives will make them completely miserable.
Ehrman has a problem with suffering, so he rejects God. Unfortunately, he has just signed on for a present and eternal existence of true suffering.
To suffer is to be separated from God. That is the ultimate suffering.
We are created to be with Him. We are separated because of sin. The solution to sin was Jesus. Now we can endure our present suffering with joy. Joy of the redemption we have been given. To reject all these is to reject the only answer to our suffering that the universe is offering.
There is no other offering of healing to man's suffering. He will only make himself more miserable the more he rejects his creator.
6-In essence Ehrman is saying: "Because God can't show me a good reason why He has allowed for me to suffer, I reject Him as God."
The irony is that this man has rejected God because he does not feel that a loving God could do this, and in the end, he has rejected the amazing love that can be trusted. For indeed, it can. We are the ones who have to choose if we trust. God remains the same. He does not have a problem because we say he does.
Many men will run to this book and will praise it, because many men are looking for more "smart" reasons to reject God.
"But we know that our present sufferings cannot compare to the joy set before us" Romans 8:18
Mr Ehrman...what better has the universe offered you?
I'll stick with the joy set before me instead of trading it for meaningless suffering and a evolutionary race going nowhere but further on in their existence of meaningless suffering.
As a matter of fact Mr. Ehrman, if you reject God because he does not answer why you have to suffer, yet he promises a glorious end to your story anyway, if you trust him, why then would you trust yourself to an agnostic exchange? Having no God doesn't answer your question either and it has no such glorious promise for you to look forward to.
I plan to read this book. I think it is probably a highlight example of when man let's his own understanding trump his faith. The end result is always complete despair. I was angry at first at this man, but the more I think of it, the more I am truly overwhelmed with sadness for him.
I will be there the day God explains why he let us suffer. Where will you be Mr. Ehrman, or will you still be suffering?
I pray you will trade your manly wisdom for godly faith.
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. C. S. Lewis
Lord, thank you that you are truth and that you are unchanging. Thank you that because you are the author of love, you are incapable of doing anything that is not truly loving. Thank you that you hold the mysteries and you can be trusted with them. Thank you that faith is believe what is unseen and yet faith is the assurance greater than what is seen. Thank you for not leaving me to myself and therefore utter misery. Most of all thank you for Christ, the great answer in the universe to our suffering.
(This is Part IV of my thoughs from women being pastors, elders and apostles)
Something comes accross the threshold of your life. Maybe it's simple, maybe its hard. Maybe it makes you look good, maybe it makes you look bad. Maybe you get worked up, maybe you don't. One thing I have learned to do in the midst of good and bad things, is to ask God one question: "Lord, what do you want me to learn from this?" For truly, every good and perfect gift comes from above, and every thing in life can just pass us by, or it can become a blessing when we seek what were we need to grow. I am very much an all or nothing person. This is, as many things, a strength and a weakness. Praise God that in our weakness He is strong. So, if I can be used for Him to shine where I stink, so be it. The Lord has been showing me that I am in great weakness in the area of "how". I've only proven that weakness recently when I let my passion for something get in the way of my wisdom of "how" to go about expressing my convictions. Fortunately the person I wronged was gracious to forgive and had their own experience of weakness that allowed an outpouring of grace from us both. We are all so prone to falling off the slippery slope of pride. I am someone to say what I think and some are prone to just think things that would be just as harsh as what I go ahead and say. I wish I had the other problem only but the fact is, God sees into us all. He is so good to not let our issues stay hidden. He brings them out into the light to humble us and show us his way.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.
Psalm 139:13-14
What a blessing to be led in the way everlasting. What a privilage, and yet, what a discipline from the Lord. And as he so rightly says, no discipline is plesant at the time. Hebrews 12:11 Yet, oh, to be lead to the everlasting! Is it worth it? Yes, and it is the giving of our very life.
In the study of elders and deacons, I discovered something about men that I had not noticed before. In this study I found it very encouraging that there were two type of men. Authoritative leaders and Servant leaders. I had never seen that before. It says that they should be appointed according to their gifts. I had always seen this as "leaders" period. It was freeing because I realized that my husband has the gift of servant leading. He has an amazng servant's heart. In essence, he would fall under the deacon category if he were to take a role in the church.
It also goes on to say that the women are to help their husbands according to their gifts. God is very intimately aware of our gifts here, isn't that so cool?! He knows our ends and outs and wants us to come to Him as to how to use them for His glory. I realized that I have not focused on asking God this before. What gifts did you give me that are to help my husband lead this family.
This is where this is glorious. Instead of being frustrated that he can't come up with something creative to lead the children in according to their training in the word. I can realize that I AM creative and can prepare it for him. Instead of being frustrated that he does not notice things the kids are doing and therefore doesn't deal with it, I can use the gift I have of noticing and seek a way to respectfully make him aware so that he can lead them. I want to start praying about this and find out what God has been waiting to show me while I've been waisting time in the land of discontent.
Prayer to recognize gifts is perhaps the gateway to harmony in relationships. I'm finding this more and more true in all areas of life with people. After we figure out the lines God has drawn as to what he designed women to do, and men to do. There is great freedom of the unique person he has made each of us and the gifts we have that he is just waiting to use if we seek Him with a pure heart. This takes away the need for criticism, and manipulation. I have not sorted it all out yet in my head, but It's a start. When you encourage people for their gifts, as they fall under the obedience of God's word, you will stop comparing them to what you think they aught to be. I look forward to walking on in this journey.
And, it was this study of women in the church and home that brought these things to the surface in my life. It was not all fun. Some parts of what happened this last week were very hard, and very frustrating. We are all quick to be offended but not quick to see how WE may have offended. I look forward to God showing me "how" to do carry out things peaceably. I look forward to being more content with the man God made MY husband to be. I look forward to Him showing me how he made me, and me only, to be his perfect help. I look forward to getting back into that circle of blessing I keep telling my kids to hop back into.
9/27/08 Many of you know my dad died at the age of 54 on May 17th, 2007. His cancer came like a sharp turn around a very dark corner. It was scattered like pebbles throughout his whole abdomen and had taken over his stomach so that no food would go through. He in essence starved to death. He looked just like one of the pictures you see of the holocaust. I will never forget in the last few days helping my mom adjust his hips on his bed as he was unable to even come alert enough to look at us, let alone adjust himself. All I could feel was skeleton, it was so awful. He was in complete need of help. It was the darkest part of my life yet in a human sense. Everything I had every known to be a reality seemed to be turned upside down and entirely askew. My pain was still nothing like that of a parent who has lost a child I am sure, or a wife who has lost the love of her life (though it was for sure that for my mother), or the starving child walking in the dust of an African street. We Americans are truly numb to pain in a lot of ways. We won't even camp in many cases because of the discomfort of being away from our pampering daily comforts. Our kids won't eat (well, mine will because I don't give into this and I know many of you who won't either) eat their food because it's not what they would really like to eat. We want our home, and our picket fence and lovely dress for Sunday service. Mind you, all of these things are good gifts from God but they are not the treasure of our lives. "My heart and my flesh mail fail". To actually be in a place of seeing a persons flesh fail piece by piece, you see that verse forever differently. Even what I went through with my dad taught me that God was not interested in my prosperity in the temporal sense. He was however, deeply invested in the prosperity of my soul. He took what the world would see as something dreadful, absolute loss, and turned it into a treasure in my soul that can not be touched by circumstance. With that behind me, this video brought me to absolute tears because it goes right to that place in my soul that I now understand. The place of absolute pain. Pain that feels like fear as C.S. Lewis so insightfully points out. The place where the world seems to completely freeze around you like one of those commercials where everything is suddenly still, only in this seen you are in the middle and you are falling on your knees in utter helplessness. You turn your face to the sky and scream at the top of your lungs "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!" You have nothing in that moment. No house, no savings account, no special outing this weekend to look forward to, no comfort of a friend, no candle you can light to pray and feel better.....nothing. Yet, you have Christ. You have the treasure of Him and the promise of His purchased gift to you, redemption. With that redemption is given to you the strongest power a man can know, the power of peace without understanding. The power that comes over you when all is humanly stripped away. The power of resting in the hands of a Living God and knowing with every fiber of your being, every pulse in your veins, every breath that you take in and out, that he is able to be trusted. That He holds you, and that He will indeed fulfill His ultimate glory and you have been lovingly purchased through great expense to himself, to reap the amazing reward of that of that ultimate glory. This video is shockingly profound, it is not meant to tickle your ears. For me, I have found it to be so true that it reaches down and pulls back out that moment n my life when I was screaming out and the world had stopped. When I was there, God used the writings and insights of three men in particular to speak to my heart. Randy Alcorn, C.S. Lewis, and John Piper. Have you been there? That is a worthy testimony, that is the victory of your salvation, the glory of the gospel. That when your very heart and your flesh fail, the Lord is your treasure and HE IS ENOUGH!
Thank you for those of you who shared in the last post. Wonderful, thought provoking stuff. I love having my brain stretched and joyfully challenged when it comes to the Word and it's Truth. I love to be reminded to be patient (and I need it, let me tell ya) and loving (thank you Julie!) and I love the absolute simplicity of faith from Tricia who said:
"I am not a scholar and do not claim to know everything about the Bible. I know a few important facts the Bible is the truth, it is God's Word, and it does not contradict itself. Since the Bible does not contract itself, Paul would not be saying in one place that men are the leaders (elders and teachers) of a church and then in another place say that a woman was a teacher (an apostle). This is a contraction. Junia would have to be male. Maybe, my thinking is to simple."
WOW! That was just so profound to me!!!! Yikes, it was like the lights went on in the realm of my faith and dimmed in the room of intellect. Both are important but it all comes down to having Faith to take God at his Word and believe that He will not let His Word contradict itself!! Excellent! Praise Him for using you Trish! It reminded me too that God meant for things to be clear and simple. We are the ones who start chopping and jumbling until what was so straight forward a child could see it, to scrounging though with our human brains to find what we think it "really" means when God has all ready told us what it means. It reminds me of what I tell the kids all the time: "Don't come and keep asking me something until you get the answer you REALLY want." "I have answered you, you know what I have said." We do the same to God and we somehow think that he will be quiet while we change his Words to mean what we want them to mean. The sad thing for us is that we will miss out on the blessing of taking Him at His word. That is why speaking the Truth is so important for the Glory of God and the joy of all peoples! His ways are best, even if we don't agree with them (thanks for that point Donna!)
So, if God does not contradict Himself. Then all of this issue is resting on one thing, and one thing alone. It does not rest on Junia because this coming point negates the concern to solve that mystery since God would never let His word contradict itself. The issue is whether 1 Timothy 2 is talking to the family ALONE or to the church as well.
1 Timothy 2 says: 1First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, 2 for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. 3This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, 4who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 5For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, 6 who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time. 7For this I was appointed a preacher and an apostle I am telling the truth, I am not lying), a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth. 8I desire then that in every place the men should pray,lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; 9likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 11Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 15Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control."
The first paragraph is setting the stage for the process of the testimony of Jesus (the gospel) being proclaimed. This takes place in three places the home, the church, and in public to the unsaved men and women (gentiles at the time) who need to be taught the Word of God. What we do see: 1) "in every place"- this does not allow the detailed relation to only the home. 2) "men" and "women" 3)"Adam" and "Eve" (referred to not because JUST because they are man and wife, but because they are the beginning of the pattern God set down for roles of manhood and womanhood . Basically, they are the beginning of man and woman. The reference is to point out that God's intent was for this to be the way of blessing from the very beginning, and yes, that means before sin. Sin did not make it so women could not authoritatively preach, God designed those roles from the get go. Sin made us have a rebellion of it and mess it up from what it aught to be. The enemy wanted it messed up, Christ wants us to get back to the way God wants it) 4) "childbearing" (is is common sense that childbearing in its actually physical sense takes place in the home (or at the hospital if you want get picky). This does not mean these passages are referring to the home only, because children are born into the church, and the world for that matter. So, this word along cannot give us the context of where these rules are to take place. Remember too, that "home" is included in the spheres where men women interact. Paul did not intend for us to think that women birth at church. :* I think he knew we would not assume that specific element.
What we don't see: 1) home (though it would be included in the places men and women interact so it is part of the whole, not excluding the whole) 2) family (again, part of the whole sphere of where women and men relate, not excluding the whole) 3) husband (we all know husbands are men, but not every man is your husband, so the admonishment is all inclusive and purposefully non-specific) 4) wife (again, we know wives are women there is no question, yet not all wives are you! The passage intently says women to refer to the women of the family, and the church. Otherwise it would say "wives" as it does in other places in scripture)
Other related passages: 1 Corinthians 14:34-36; 11:2-16.
Again this articleaddress MANY of the questions circulating this topic and I would never bore you with putting them all here. The format is question and answer so you can scroll down and read the question you would like some information on.
In summary: The limitation is not as huge as we make it out to be. The setting is the home and the church or the place of congregated unbelievers who need to be taught the gospel but include men. The restriction is on authoritative teaching roles (pastor, elder, apostle in it's greatest sense). It is on nothing else. Christ has give women amazing freedoms and opportunities to teach, lead, and minister. A woman whining about not getting to preach is like a man who's angry he can't birth children. It is what God made it to be, and we don't have to like it, we have to obey it if we honor the words of God. The Old Testament has women leaders and prophets. It is of note that they do not have ongoing ministries as the male leaders and prophets did and their intervention, though profound and from God is brief and in desperate times. This is not an argument against them however. The role closest to pastor and elder in the OT is the priest. There are no women priest.
The importance of 1 Timothy 2 's application is massive. We must recognize the admonishment to the church and not just specifically the home. Again, we have to look at what it says, and what it does not say. Adam and Eve were man and woman before they were husband and wife. The problem is when we look at what the Word says and say, "this is what it means specifically" when the adress is not specific, it is general. All husbands and wives are men and women, but not all men and women are husbands and wives. That is why the passage is general and inclusive not specific and exclusive.
My conclusion: The evidence proves that 1 Timothy 2 is speaking to the family and the church. It is referring to all women and all men. So, if God does not want women being authoritative teachers, then they should not be. Since he does not contradict himself, if Junia was a woman apostle, she was not an authoritative teacher of the scriptures to men. Otherwise, Junia is a short version of Junius and he was a male. Simple, and straightforward. Just like most things God wants us to know.
There will only be one more part to this this weekend. In everything that comes my way, especially the things that shake me up and get me seeking Truth, I want to ask God one thing "What do you want ME to learn from this." Boy has he been showing me! One thing about this blog is that you get to see me rise and fall. Sometimes that scares me, especially because I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve in my writing. These writings are from a sinful woman. These reactions are from a sinful woman. So, you will find many faults here. Yet, if I was trying to hide that, I would not be doing God the justice of showing His glory in my life. Where I am weak, He is strong. Where I fail, He forgives. What I screw up, He uses for His glory. So, I have to be welcoming some mud on my face in order to show how He can shine despite it. I have learned a lot from this study. God has stirred up some things in my personal life that he used this dive into womanhood and manhood to show me. He showed me the importance of studying to give an answer. I took a class that I loved in highschool (from Donna actually) in critical thinking. We learned how to debate and how to dissect faulty logic. It was one of the best classes I've every taken. There is no better place to put it to practice than in the defence of the Word of God. The lesson I learned was to keep it to my own blog. I always think everyone is as eager to stir the pot and find what's true as I am. That was conceited of me I think . So, from now on, I will be free to bring up my topics, but I will do it here. And you can come if you want to, and leave if you want to. But if you stay, I hope you always see Veritas. Challenge me if you don't.
Tomorrow I am off to second grade again! This weekend there will be a part three, and next week I am taking a break from blogging. Besides, if it were me, I would be way behind on all this reading and probably too intimidated by it's length to start!
