Public School: Demasking of the Monster That Was

This week has been fun, exhausting, stimulating, and HOT! I thought it was hot a few days ago, but it wasn't. Today, it's hot. The streets are silent. Lilo and Superkid are sound asleep taking that much needed nap, and Princess is playing Mario. Rick is all ready home, and I'm glad cause not even the mailman should have to endure this.
BTW, it's 107 at 4pm!

So.....how is it going?
It's going very well! Great actually. The girls first day Lilo came out with a big grin on her face and lots to tell. Princess was tired but she was tired on Sunday from a week of camp and she never really got to catch up from vacation, to camp, to school, then add the heat.

(we made peanut butter cookies on Monday, the girls first day...my little helping chef)

(Superkid did something amazing, something you could never do if you tried. He managed to crack the egg over the bowl but only get the shell in the all ready going butter and sugar, and the yolk all complete on the counter! Mommy had to spend the next five minutes picking out shell pieces after she quickly tried to turn the mixer off before it was all worked in!)

Superkid had his first day of kindergarten on Tuesday. If you have been following the blog, you know that his teacher is the wife of an old favorite teacher of mine. He did not talk about going to school much all summer. He was neither excited nor apparently apprehensive. Then, on Monday, while the girls were in their first day, he began making some revealing statements like "Mommy, I don't know how to learn". I could tell that he somehow thought he had to know what the girls knew to be up at the school, and was nervous he would be the only one who didn't understand or couldn't do....whatever. I tried to assure him with my words and he listened but I was a little worried all of a sudden what the next day was going to be like. Then, at 2pm, we had to be up at the school for his little kindergarten assessment. It was a short test with one of the kindergarten teachers to get an idea of what each child is coming in to the year all ready knowing, or not knowing at all. (doing the pointy-finger-happy-dance while jumping out of the van for the first day of kindergarten)

(Showing Lilo where the Library is, since he found it the day before walking around with mommy)

(caught mid-air in a happy skip down the halls....yes, my son skips sometimes:*)

Superkid went right over across the room to the teacher and sat down, he seemed confident to be starting. That right there made me feel better. Then, when he was done taking the test, the teacher gave me a big hearty thumbs up so I knew he had done well. I came on over and she let us know together that he was really above where he needed to be all ready. That made him smile, and he was eager to go to school after that. He even went home and asked me to pull out worksheets so he could do them.
Each day I'm asking the kids what their favorite part of the day is (this is our cookies and milk time at the table, when they also had me any papers and let me know what they need to do) and what the hardest part was.

(name changed for blog:)

The first day Lilo said that nothing was hard, and there was nothing she didn't like. I am absolutely thrilled with her teacher who blessed me by thanking us for letting Lilo be in her class. Lilo loves school now....that is something! I knew when we met this teacher, that they would hit it off well, and they have. (Superkid and Mrs.E)

I knew Superkid was adjusting well when on the second day of school he saw his teacher in the distance and said excitedly "Hello Mrs. E....!" He does not usually greet openly anyone he does not feel real comfortable with. He has been enjoying that he knows a lot of the stuff so far, but feeling stretched to learn his name in lowercase letters since he is so comfortable writing in

(getting his intro picture taken)

capitols. I don't remember ever using lower case in kindergarten but they move faster now days on some things. They have play time too and he loves the big playhouse in the classroom where he can play cook pizza between lessons. I was blessed that on a board introducing herself with pics of her and her family Mrs. E had for her favorite book: The Bible, and on her other picture "God made me special". Nice to see boldness in the public school.
Princess has had the biggest adjustment I would say. She told me she loves it and would not go back, but she has had different challenges. A little boy who likes her and tried to pinch her cheek like a mommy would a cute baby's...not cool. The teacher reminded the kids that they need to all keep their hands to themselves and respect other peoples space, but the next day he tried to poke her. So, this little guy is getting in trouble very early on. He is not being mean to her, just trying to get her attention (like boys use to pull ponytails way back in our day, I guess). I told her that under no circumstance is anyone to lay a hand on her personage whether to be funny or else. She was bold enough to let the teacher know the second time and I told her I was proud of her for handling it. She was put as a barrier between two chatty girls as well, because she was the one quiet and paying attention. I warned her to look out for the chatty one trying to talk to her instead, but we have not had a problem. So, when she gets her turn to share what was great and what was hard, the certain little boy is always the subject of the annoyance of the day.

For homeschooling kids, they have made the transition miraculously so far and I am so thankful.
I thank God for the way they are excited and doing well.

For me there have been other adjustments. Though my schedule is not fully kid free during school hours as Superkid is only in school right now from 8:25-11:20, the few hours at home have been a very focused time and they go fast. I do feel in my element and reassured for this time that this is where we are supposed to be.
Socially it has had it's challenges. It is strange to take off a hat that use to match others and now does not. Some of my friends have proven to be deep sisters and moved along with me, if not further in our journey as friends as they have prayed for us and encouraged us to follow the Lord's lead no matter where he takes us. Others seem to not know what to talk to me about anymore and avoid the subject of school. I try to battle out in my head...."don't read in to it Alicia, trust in God, he has lead you, and He is faithful". Yet, I feel like some Christian's think this a very nonspiritual thing (and that's again, me worried about what man thinks, not God....."but it's a Christian man God...isn't that more important!?"). When someone turns to homeschooling there is usually silent applause for being so self-sacrificing, and doing the "best". When you are called out it sometimes feels like only God and few friends and family are cheering you on. Sorry for venting, but I have to remind myself, I'm allowed, it's my blog.
I just feel the change brutally at times, and more than that, I feel like the decision does not make logical "spiritual" sense.
Yet, the Lord has encouraged me greatly the last few days. I have been reminded of how important it is for Christians to not seclude and hide away, therefore removing all salt from the earth. I use to think that our family being salt and light in the public school was actually more like sacrificing my children to wolves. That they should be coddled and protected from all non-christian thinking and worldview until they were old enough to be sent off and then enter that world. I still stand by my former mention that I don't believe in entering the public school for the motivation of being salt and light alone. What do I mean by that then, and why does it sound like I'm contradicting myself? Well, I'll explain.

You could spin your globe and finger point to any place on the planet inhabited by humanity and say that you should go there because there are people who need the gospel. You would be right, and your reasons would be right, but does at mean you should go there? No, definitely not. Why should you go then? Only if you are called by God to go. Does he call people into the public school? Yes. Does he call people to Africa? Yes. Does he call people to homeschool? Yes. In all cases, he calls us all to look for every opportunity to be salt and light in this dark world when we are within the situation he has all ready called us to. That is how I speak of it, after the fact of the calling to be here. Now that we have been called to the public school, our conversation to our kids is very thick with the subject of being salt and light, and it is exhilarating and fulfilling to anticipate what God will do now that He has us here. That is where he spirit of fear is abolished just like those called to the dangers of India and Africa go boldly. If God is for us, who can be against us!

The fact is, I don't think there is one formula for all families, well, there is.....it's called pray, and follow God's leading, and be bold. I do think, after entering the public arena and feeling the change after being so secluded after so many years, that families who do homeschool may want to make an effort to be in some arenas where they and their children have the chance to be light and practice standing up for their faith, and sharing it. Seasoning the world with the good news is after all our great commission from Jesus and he said to "go out" not to "hide and wait till it's over". I know that sounds like a stark statement but I don't mean it as a slam to homeschoolers, just as an encouragement to us all look for those opportunities either way. You could be in the public school and still hide out, but it would eventually lead to compromise since you are out there, and visable.
Princess was asked by another classmate if she was a Christian on the first day of school. I was surprised that someone else beat her to the subject. She was glad to make a Christian friend. The next day Princess came home and asked me what I thought of her setting up an accountability with her new friend for them to read a chapter in their bibles every day. I said I thought that sounded great! What amazed me was, that as a ten year old, she followed through and she and this friend are doing that very plan.
Myself, I found little baby steps today of how I can look for those opportunities to build relationships. I was in line at a check out in town and one of Superkid's fellow kindergarten kids spotted him and said hi. They stood their chatting and I got to say a few words to the little one's mom. Then the lady behind her asked me if he went to (blank) school. I said yes, and that I had two others up there too. She went on to tell me she had two up there and was very talkative from there. In an few moments in line, I was able to make a connection with her I would not have been able to make before. Being around the school every day you tend to see some of the adults on a regular basis. I knew I would probably see her again, and now we have had an ice breaking conversation. I don't know who she is, but God does. I don't know if I'll talk to her more, but He does. I do know that we are out there and I can feel it! I can feel the boldness to grasp every opportunity to greet and show love to people in the every day of life. To be a friend. To reach out. It comes naturally to me to do that and I have been pondering if that is why the Lord has put this change in our lives, because He knows we will speak boldly and joyfully of Him whenever we get the opportunities. Each one of my children tend to be sociably outgoing in this way as well and I all ready see the blossoming in this new journey. Leading them through this won't be easy, but it will make us strong if we go to the Lord about all of it and ask Him to guide. I like this verse shared by an author on the Sojourners Journal listed on my blog roll.

John 17: 15-17 "I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.”
(taken from this post on public school)
This song on christian radio has spoken to my heart lately:
"Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Chorus:
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Wasnt it far beyond my reach?
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
again
again
yeah
yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
Theres a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
To ashamed to tell his wife
Hes out of work
Hes buying time
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Chorus

Ive Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all aloneChorus (x2)

The Glasses That See God Move

They are essentially eyes of faith. When you step out into something scary, sometimes alone, with the insanity of a person trying to walk on water, you need your faith glasses. I've had mine on and they have allowed me to see God move and bless on this journey from homeschool to the public school. This post is for the purpose of testimony about those and a small update at the end.

Further Messages Changing My Life
Again, our family ministries director, Shane (shows our pastor first, then scroll down a bit) has been pumping out powerful messages still. I have wanted to highlight some of what has been profound to me but I'm not having as much blogging time lately. I referred to one a while back on this post. The next two were just as profound:
Wretched Sinners Living Righteously Galatians 3:1-5
Son's and Daughters of Almighty God Galatians 3:23- 4:7

These messages have been fertilizer to my spiritual growth and further love of God breaking the chains of works I put around myself for years. Further shattering of my "ME" idol, more blowing up how BIG God is and how fulfilling HIS will is.

A Joy Filled Friend
I have been paranoid about telling some people about our move into public school. I wasn't at first, I was overwhelmed with joy of the Lord that we were doing the right thing. Then I got a few reactions that were discouraging. It's okay, no one is obligated to make me feel better and it would actually be better for my faith that they all be negative in extreme so I can be stretched to put my hope in God's leading more and more. Once I realized that, I was overwhelmed by the joyful reaction of one dear lady at my church.
I was sitting in front of her and during meet and greet she asked how we were doing. If school was done and something about next year. I don't remember that part very well. I was afraid to tell her. Now, let me say, she is a wonderfully sweet lady. She does homeschool though and had been encouraging me to strike out independently next year despite the doom and gloom news in CA about homeschooling. So, I had convinced myself that she would be shocked by the change and not understand it.
I'll tell you, this is how you know someone has their eyes on God and what He can do instead of the opinions of man.
I told her and she was overwhelmed with joy for us! He face lit up and she lamented how awesome God is to show us all this! I was dumbfounded. It was like a big hug from God. I knew she really meant it. Even though she was choosing to homeschool herself, she was open to what God had for us and not threatened by it at all! It was a delight to my downhearted spirit.
When we have talked to people about this we have all kinds of reactions. Some positive, some hesitant. Yet, the one that is the hardest for me is the stand-offish response. The one that seems to doubt that God could possibly lead us into public school. The one that seems to say, "well, I'll just sit back and keep quiet, and we'll just see what kind of mess you end up with."
I was so blessed by this woman's love for what God could do! Because God does not lead us and then abandon us. I think Tami R. told me something like "God does not say 'thank you for obeying my leading, now I'm going to screw up your kids'". He is leading us for the purpose of our good and I thank this woman for rejoicing with us. It takes a pair of eyes fully on God to see HIS hand move, to truly rejoice with you rather than just be polite.
(I need to note too that I have had many friends very close to me have the same faith and joy as well, and I thank them, not for my sake, but I thank them for being prayerfully focused on God's will for our family)

A Note From A Friend
My friend Kristen sent me an email yesterday to link me to a brief article "I Praise God For the Public Schools". This was a love gift from God. What Kristen didn't know at the time was that this article was written by the wife of one of my dad's best friends. This friend was the one that took my dad out, feeble as he was, upon his request (my dad's request), to the shooting range two weeks before he passed away. This friend knew him since I was young. I was touched that God reached out through this friend's wife to encourage me.
Please read the article.
(NOTE: I want to say one little thing regarding the article. I do not believe in being motivated to put your kids in public for the sole purpose of them being little missionaries (another term would be so they can be salt and light) alone. It is an element of being in the public school, and a wonderful way for a christian family to minister, but the motivation should be the leading of God alone. For the same reason, you should never be motivated to homeschool for the sake of protecting your child. You should homeschool because you and your husband have prayed and God has led you there. Your child being guarded may be an element of being at home as a result of that decision, but it should never be a motivation. In that same sense, I am not motivated by wanting my children to be missionaries to the school. By the grace of God they will be, if it's his will that we can be, but it is not the reason we are going. The sole reason is that God has lead us there. Many, many purposes and reasons are being shown to us as we go along but they are not in and of themselves our motivations.)

So, On To The Latest
We went up yesterday to let the kids see the classrooms and meet the teachers. I ran into another old teacher of mine who is now the vice principle and we chatted for a while.
Superkid was very anxious to see the room. He was quite shy to talk to the teacher, but I'm sure that's normal. School is a whole new thing for him. He was excited to look around and see what was in the room.
Lilo had to have circled her classroom a dozen times. She said nothing, she just walked around absorbing while we talked to Miss Monarch (as I think we've dubbed her Karen:). She loved all the bug and butterfly stuff. She wanted to open the text books and look in them. She hovered over the craft table for a long time. Later I asked her what she liked about the room, she said everything. I asked if there was anything she didn't like and she said no.
Princess' teacher was way too busy when we stopped by. Evidently she was in a time crunch to get the yearbook in before school is done tomorrow. She greeted her and welcomed her to browse around the room but she had to get her stuff done. Rick and I were a little disappointed with this but we understood that we had popped in on her unannounced. When we spoke to us at open house she was very helpful. Princess browsed around the room. She said it was messy. (definite oldest child). I tried to remind her that school had just ended and the stuff was not cleaned up yet.
We went on to meet the sixth grade teacher too since she will be teaching Princess' math. She was lovely! Her room was much neater and had stuff that intrigued all the kids. She talked with us for a while. We really liked her and Princess was able to get to know her a bit. She has horses and Princess of course was delighted with that common love.
So, again every sense, Lilo asks me how many days till school starts. I reminded her that they have not even stopped quite yet!:)

Final Sharing
This morning I read what I thought to be a great thought provoker over at Life As Mom. I was overwhelmed with reflective thoughts from it.
Here is part of my comment and I'll end with this... I copied it because it was a dumping out of my heart and sometimes you can't say the same thing twice just as well.

God has taken my "mommy mold" that I long so desparately to fit into even when it's uncomfortable, an obvious "not fit", and shattered it completely. He has in essence said to me "you will stop being what you think you need to be and you will walk by faith!" To stop looking for formulas that define "fine accomplishment" and live for the image of Christ. I no longer want to be motivated by what I define as the perfect mom, I want to be motivated by the will of God, the yoke that is easy and the burden that is light, the life that reflects the Father because it is seeking Him for the next step in every way. The perfect mom mold can be a bad motivation, and it can become an idol, set up and worshiped. That is what I did. Praise God for stepping in in a loving and intimate way and throwing it to the floor! He is a jealous God and want's my heart seeking HIM, and I am so thankful. Now I am motivated by obeying His will which brings me joy that goes deeper than temporal performance satisfaction.


Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-